so. i didn't think the age would be a problem with me and mike..i really didnt. but he said something tonight that made me think otherwise. we were on the phone..and he was saying he was going out with teacher friends and he was like "i'd take you along if you were 18" they're going to the bowling alley. and he's not gonna invite me because i'm 17. i'll be f*cking 18 in like..9 days. its because he doesn't want his teacher friends to meet me. a young kid still in highschool. he'd be ashamed. which means..he's ashamed of me. ouch. really. ouch. i thought age wasn't a problem. apparently it is. i keep thinking he's actually going out to see another chik. a woman. not a girl. i am too young for him. but..i love him so much. i just want it to work out. i'd be proud to introduce him to everyone. i want everyone to meet him. i guess he doesn't feel the same about me though. that's fine. i dont want to meet his teacher friends anyways. really. or i keep thinking that...he'll meet someone else. someone older than me. more mature. better. or something.

i dont know. maybe i'm overreacting. possibly.

i love him so much.

i dont want to lose him.

i dont know what i'd do without him.

i dont want to think about what would happen.

i love him.