"It's obvious you dont care about being pretty"

is what she said to me.

her harsh words pierced through my skin

leaving me scarred permanently.

what did i do to deserve these words

that split my heart into a thousand pieces?

shattered. broken. scarred. damaged.

my life. my body....my life.

not yours.

not pretty according to your standards.

UGLY..according to you.

i'm ruining myself is what you say.

black clothes, black hair, dark make up, lip ring.

all equals ugly..right?

hoop earring, light make up, A & F, blonde hair.

equals me being [FAKE] but you being happy.

satisfied?

i hope so.

fake? i would be.

uncomfortable. fake.

lies.

betrayal to myself.

beautiful?

to your standards.

rebellion...

that's what you're going to cause.

if all this is a mistake..

then let me make it.

it'll be my mistake.

mine. not yours.

mine to make.

your job to let me make it.

i have to learn somehow.

only you make me feel ugly.

only you.

and everything i like..

you hate.

my hair...my body..my choice.

all mine.

let me do what i want

with the things that

belong to me.

please.

stop criticizing.

i'm sorry i'm not your

perfect.popular.preppy.

teenage girl.

i..am me...

i'm who i want to be.

accept that.

so..my mum..said that first line to me thursday night. ouch. this is how i felt about it.

only worse. i felt horrible. i cried. :( oh well.