or is that supposed to be question marks?

i mean..it's all just over. like that. the day i awaited arrived...and then was over. faster than i could say   "thank you."

it seems like all i can say now is

"was it worth it?"

i dont even know.

maybe it just hasn't hit me yet.

"Brittney, you are a highschool graduate. Highschool is over. You're supposed to smile.  Where is your smile???"

I dont know where my smile is. I dont know where that happiness that i'm supposed to have is. I just dont know. I'm happy, yeah, but...not because I graduated. I'm happy just because i'm in a good spot in life right now. I have a great boyfriend and I have the entire summer with him.  I have clothes on my back and a place to live. I have the necessities to be happy. So, why am I not happy nor sad about this graduation thing? I mean, yeah, i could see it if I was sad. At least I'd be showing some emotion towards it. But its like i have nothing to say about it.

Person 1: So, Brittney,  You finally did it!! How does it feel? :)

Me: ..........

i just dont know. i dont know what to say, so i lie and say

Fake Me: It feels great!!!!!

but i'm only lieing. because i have no idea what i feel about it. I feel empty about it. Like, it doesnt matter. But it should matter because it's a big accomplishment. I should be proud of myself because everyone else is proud of me. So, what does that mean? I'm not a good person...or...i dont have a heart?? What?

I'm just so confused on the subject. I guess maybe I expected more out of it. Like, I expected to feel different afterwards and I dont. I walked across the stage and felt great. But once I got back to my seat I just thought ...

"Is this it?"

"Was I really done?"

"This feeling is a let-down."

It wasn't a feeling of great accomplishment. And that's what graduating is. A great accomplishment.

I dont know my deal. I think i'm gonna talk to Mike about it.

I need someone to talk to about it.

Was It Worth It?