My Blog

february 2 2006

hello again all... so, im in about as good of a mood as when i wrote my last blog entry.  i cant help it.  think of it, i just lost tmy motivation and ppl want me to be fine and happy?  im not so sure that i can do that no matter who asks for it.  im sorry.  i just cant do that right now.

what else? hmm... well, i havent heard from chol in a while, so im sorta upset about that, cuz he was a good guy to talk to and i miss him.

I had a bunch of appointments today, so i missed math class yet again... i think i have a test tomorrow. yay... i saw my counsellor and he says that i have to start to see another counsellor soon, because he was an emergency counsellor, for some reason he thinks that i am strong, i guess its because i didnt stick my head in the sand when everything started happening.  however i dont believe that i am strong becaus ei have made some very bad choices, some choices that i wish i had never made.  oh well, its in the past i guess.

i also saw my dr today.  she told me that she was happy that i wasnt quitting, even though i had a knife in my heart from my dad.  she said that they prolly didnt understand and that is why my parents do what they do.  i think this is prolly true, but i dont want to believe it or let them be... ignorant, i spose is the word.

*sighs* im so frustraited right now.  i wish i could just wiggle my nose and everything would be good again... oh well...

there is more, but i gotta go, cuz im on my moms comp and she gets mad when i use it, but if she would hurry up and clear my space on the desk then i could use my own computer. so i think that she is just making excuses.

. so ttyl everyone.

 - Randii -

Dad, I wish that you would believe that i am doing better then before, and that i do want to be a good part of your family, not the screwed up one, however, i spose i have to respect yours and sarahs wishes of not visiting, so good luck with the new baby, and email or call when i can come and visit again./... i might call grandma and see if i can go up there soon, so maybe we can talk and visit then.  i still have my tek ISU to do, so i would like to have you guys in it seeing as you are mny family and its a series of photos of my family at random times... maybe i can even get a cute one of jadzia and the new baby... oh well, i will let you think that one over, seeing as im not in the good books up there at the moment,

love yas

XOXOXO

Miranda