I have this friend who sometimes we do more than be friends with each other.  I thinkthe term is friend with benefits.  Moving on, I am a guy so the benefits part doesnt bother me one way or the other, but it seems like it bothers her. 

In all honesty I like this girl a lot in every way, enough to be her friend while she dates other guys and lies about it.  And by lieing i mean obmitting the truth or carefully saying things to not say how she truely feels about anyone or anything.  Recently she told me that it would be bad for me to focus on a relationship with her.  Funny because I wasnt focusing on one with her.  I told her that but since she likes to think she knows what i mean or what s in my best interest she isnt paying attention to what i am saying.  I am not stupid I dont see signs when they are not there and do read more into the signs that are.  no matter how much we talked or do anything else I always consider us as friends first.  I told you I understood your position, for those of you reading her position is that i am so ****in annoying that she could never see her self with me because she isnt sure that we are compatible, I always understood her position and its ok.  Yes, I hoped that one day it would change but I havent stayed inside the house hoping for that moment everynight. 

I keep saying I understand but she keeps repeating the same stuff like I'm mentally slow or something.  So then today I call to wish her mom happy mothers day and she tells me we need to talk.  Yes folks she actually said, We Need To Talk, men are aware of how bad that saying is.  So she calls me a little later and tells me that she feels like she needs to focus on herself and that i shouldnt hope for a relationship with her, I go okay.  I reacted calm because she pulled the same thing a long time ago so i already know where this is heading.  She tells me that she needs to focus on her self, I say fine, then she goes your okay with that and i said yes. Then she told me a little more, she said that because of the type of person she is she needs to try to make everyone happy, and she is so focused on that, that she is making herself unhappy.  All i say is that how can you hope to make everyone happy, you cant hope to make everyone happy, pick one person and go with it.  I said one person and I mean one person, truthfully I dont care if I am that person, I am just so ******* tired of seeing her go back and forth with her life.  She has this annoying habit of leting so many people run over her, and I hope that I am not one of them. 

She is a great girl but I dont see how I could ever hope to be with her because she never truely knows what she wants, or if she has never felt the urge to express it with me.  I feel almost like she wanted me to be upset or wanted me to be angry the way she said it.  I keep trying to tell her I understand who she is and how she is and dont want to change her.  But she seems to be always reading into me more than i am saying.  Read this word for word, I love you and dont care how insane you are, when you know who are what you want let me know, if its me great i think we will be happy together, if its not so what you are one of my best friends a title i dont throw around easily or take away.  We will always be together and always be close.  If you want some guy who is bad for you and will only hurt you fine, its your life make whatever decisions you want to.  I will still be here for you when its all over, because thats what friends do.

You know what just occured to me after all the guys i heard  and read about hearting you I dont think I ever have.  I never read about the times I make you laugh or the times I come through for you.  I just want to know in addition to annoying the **** out of you do i ever make you happy?  Do I ever make you laugh?  Do I ever cheer you up when you are sad?  Do I make you cry?  Do I make you sad?  Do I do anything other than annoy you? Do you even know?  Well whatever you do and whoever you do it with, I will always be there for you.  Just tell me what you want......