| *~La Bella Vita~* |
oh disappointments.ok, so i didnt end up seeing darrin, cuz he had to work. ugh, he didnt email me til 8pm last nite to tell me and i was like GRRRR. plus, he STILL hasnt called BMO for me!!!! I called him today and he was like: i will try to do it soon, I was like: well my school is asking for money, can you please do it tonight, i think they stop around 8pm. he said he would, so i will call him tomorrow and make sure that he did and call BMO saturday or sunday afternoon to find out if he was approved.secondly, i saw my counsellor Amanda again today, it was good, except that she told me that in 2 weeks she will be off for another week!!! Didnt she have enough time off before??? I mean, i know that she is entitled to her holidays, but she may as well of taken off 4 weeks in a row then to do 3 weeks and then another week. and she was like: but after that i wont be off til christmas. well what am i supposed to do then??? can you be addicted to having counsellors?? maybe its just cuz im really insecure and feell like people are gonna leave me all of a sudden and abandon me. she told me not to feel guilty about Michelle, because I wasnt the last place in the world for her to go, and it wasnt my fault that she wasnt willing to follow rules, and that i was a good friend, because i gave her a place, and empathy and did try to help her get back together. didnt go to school today cuz i was sleeping. did get my passport pic done so i can get my licqour card and so i can get an aphidaphit from city hall for the school. i got a planner from walmart today. well, im gonna research why ive been so tired these past few days. then ive gotta study for my quiz tomorrow. ttyl all - randii - 7:30 PM - Aug. 17, 2006 - comments {2} - post commentSupergirlArtist - Reamon Song - Supergirl You can tell by the way, she walks that she's my girl, You can tell by the way, she talks she rules the world. You can see in her eyes that no one is her Chi, She's my girl, my Supergirl. And then she'd say: It's OK, I got lost on the way But I'm a Supergirl and Supergirls don't cry. And she'd say: It's all right, I got home late last night But I'm a Supergirl and Supergirls just fly. And then she'd say, that nothing can go wrong, When you're in love, what can go wrong? And then she'd laugh the nighttime into the day, Pushing her fears further along. And then she'd say: It's OK, I got lost on the way But I'm a Supergirl and Supergirls don't cry. And she'd say: It's all right, I got home late last night But I'm a Supergirl and Supergirls just fly. Then she'd shout down the line, tell me she's got no more time Cause she's a Supergirl and Supergirls don't cry. And then she'd scream in my face, tell me to leave, leave this place Cause she's a Supergirl and Supergirls just fly. She's a Supergirl, a Supergirl, She's sowing seeds, she's burning trees, She's sowing seeds, she's burning trees, Yes, she's a Supergirl, a Supergirl, A Supergirl, my Supergirl. 04:20 - Aug. 17, 2006 - comments {0} - post commenthmmm.... part 2ok, so i havent taken a nap yet, but i had to clean my apt because it was sooooooo messy!!! I am just finishing up some laundry and then i will be almost done, i still have 1 maybe 1.5 loads of dishes to do up, but i had to let them soak... i should however put away the ones that are dry tho.brb gotta get laundry from the dryer. not quite dry yet. gotta check on it again shortly. so anyway, about the cutting today, i cut cuz i had this MASSIVE huge HEADACHE, and i couldnt take anything for it cuz i had only taken my meds like 30 mins before, and you cant take it within 2hrs of taking the kind of meds i take cuz it makes them less effective and me even more tired, and seeing as im already really uber tired i dont need to feel any more tired than i already am. also, i only got 64% on this self quiz thing yesterday, so that was disappointing. what else??? oh i have my appt with Amanda again tomorrow, she will be back from holidays, i think it will be weird, i mean, cuz she has been gone for 3 weeks, and i have been talking to a lady named Joanne for 2 of those weeks. *shrugs* i guess i will have to get over it quick. oh i need to go to city hall and get an aphidaphit (sp) because i dont have any photo ID and my school wont accept my health card, but they need something that proves that i am me. stupid CDI. *shrugs* have to get over that too i guess. i could just go to the beer store and get a licqour card, i think it takes like 4 days to get to you, so maybe they can wait til weds?? but of course that requires money, which i dont have a lot of right now. i have like $40 from my pay that i can use and the rest is going to text books.  i have no idea how im gonna cover rent this month. hopefully darrin will be approved, then i will have a lil bit of extra (i applied for $10G but my program is like $9865 or something... have to look at my paperwork to find the exact amount) so i will have close to $150 to go to my bills for this month, which is good, cuz my other pay wont be as much as ive been gettin lately cuz i didnt work as much overtime. *sighs* oh well, it will all work out, things seem to fall in place when you really want them and when you're willing to work really hard and when you are meant to do soemthing. doesnt mean that its easier, but it means that you will appreciate it more i guess. kinda like when kids earn money and buy something, they are more proud that they bought it and take better care of it, cuz it wasnt just given to them cuz they were whining or something. ok, well i think im gonna go for a walk or something. ttyl all. - randii - 3:27 PM - Aug. 16, 2006 - comments {0} - post commenthmmm.....well, today i woke up late (7:04) but i got to school only like 5 minutes late! YAY! hmm.... oh i cut today. was feeling stressed cuz darrin still has to call BMO and do the loan thinger and then this admissions money finance person pulled me outta class to ask what was up so i told her that i had been approved (cuz i have been) but i needed to find a cosigner and i asked someone and they should be approved and she said to keep them posted. anyways, gotta head back to class. will post more later. (like why i cut today etc... ) sooo tired.... cant wait to get home and have a nap! ttyl all
- randii - 11:13 AM - Aug. 16, 2006 - comments {0} - post comment"Tonight"I was late for work today just because of this song. I never before heard about "Reamon" band but now i guess i fell in love with them. I'm not a great music fan and i am usually quite conservative and listen to all the same singers. And only very seldom i open my heart and soul to new bands - i guess now it is exactly that case when i opened a new band for me. Here is the song which is being played all morning long in my computer. Artist - Reamon Song - "Tonight" She never took the train alone 00:20 - Aug. 16, 2006 - comments {0} - post commentprice for happinessI had a very intensive thought process at work today and i realized something which may seem really important for all of us. To become happy you need to experience the periods of total unhappiness. When you haven’t studied at the university of sorrows, your happiness can not be durable. Love lives in the hearts for long only when both of partners know its price. And it is better to pay in advance than afterwards. We are not ready for happiness, because we are not used to suffer. 04:08 - Aug. 15, 2006 - comments {1} - post commentwowi got 2 new comments. it means that someone is still reading all this Thanks, Abhay, for being here and leaving your comments. It was really nice of you :)) 22:20 - Aug. 14, 2006 - comments {1} - post commentit is unfairThe weather is becoming very nice. But it is really so unfair. 3 weeeks of my summer holiday there was raining and cold. Maximum +12°C. I really thought the summer was over. Yesterday - the first day at work (+20°C), today - +25°. It is indeed unfair that i was stuck at home for the whole 3 weeks, and now when i have to work the summer is back. 22:09 - Aug. 14, 2006 - comments {1} - post commentfinally done with it :)First i uploaded my new webpage to one server. But it didnt work out like i wanted. I thought that it was my problem, but then i realized that its the problem of the hosting service and decided to change the hosting which was sure a good idea :) It took me a lot of time to do it but i finished with uploading and here is the link to my website http://justanicegirl.275mb.com/ There are some ads there and they are quite annoying but i am not so crazy to pay for the hosting just in order to get rid of them. So, just dont take notice of them, ok? 14:31 - Aug. 14, 2006 - comments {0} - post commentit's NOT okay to cryThe Bold parts are the parts that i agree with.when - appears its cuz i made a comment. "It's OK to Cry" Amanda Wilkinson Somewhere along the way we taught to keep it all together, - very true, who teaches us this? We mask the pain we feel inside, to make everyone else feel better, You wrap your arms around yourself and bury all your sorrow, You can't hide from your emotions baby, they'll still be here tomorrow, If your heart won't let it flow, I want you to know, Chorus It's okay to cry (Everybody's gotta hurt sometime) - no it isnt, crying is horrible and makes you weak and childish! Let those tear drops fly (Don't even try to dry your eye) Don't keep it all inside (In the mornin' it'll be alright) - who says?? nothing is ever alright!! It's okay to cry - i disagree First you gotta fall apart to pick up all the pieces, If you don't learn to let it go, - i've learned, people just dont like the way i deal! heck, I dont even like how I deal! the pain inside increases, It takes more strength to hold it in then to give in and surrender, why's the first thing that we learn, the last thing we remember? Baby, tears don't make you weak, If I could only make you see, Chorus It ain't nothing at all Sometimes you gotta break down and let 'em fall, - no you dont! just keep doin what youre doin! Baby that's true Ohhhhhh Chorus Ohhhhhhhhhhh 12:19 PM - Aug. 14, 2006 - comments {0} - post commenta new day...alright, so today is a new day, i was almost late for school, but caught the 7 near my house YAY! i think the teacher got there like 5 mins before me, so no biggie. anyway, i am gonna photocopy textbooks stuff for this week and hopefully i will have money for them weds/thurs and have em next week. anyways, gotta go back to class, cuz break is almost finished.
ttyl for now
- randii - 9:08 AM - Aug. 14, 2006 - comments {0} - post commentwork :)I forgot to tell - today is the first day at work after 4 weeks of doing nothing. The most difficult thing for me was to wake up at 7 am. How I've done it before? People in the office say i continue losing weight (i should believe them - they havent seen me for 4 weeks, have something to compare with). Is it good or bad? I dont know. In other situation i would believe it is good - girls like to lose weight, right? But i am also not sure if it is normal? May be it is because of the operation. I really have no idea... 02:00 - Aug. 14, 2006 - comments {1} - post commentToda i was told that i never will get married because someone cursed me. Weird, isnt it? I really dont believe in such things but also dont know how to react when you hear something like that...01:11 - Aug. 14, 2006 - comments {1} - post commentMy webpageI finished designing my webpage. Now i only have to upload it to the server which will take me months (just kidding... but may be not ;)) with my dial-up. But at least it is finished and i can feel happy for it :) I am really proud of what i achieved. i wanted to say something else but i forgot what... anyways have a good day anyone :) 04:03 - Aug. 13, 2006 - comments {0} - post commentYou Know You're Russian When...http://www.blogthings.com/Russian.html - I've just come across this in the net. Some of them are really true, but some are just stereotypes. I hope you will understand where the stereotypes are. If not, you can always ask me :)22:04 - Aug. 12, 2006 - comments {1} - post commentwahoo!ok, well, i had like the strangest dreams last nite! ahahahhahaha.i had a dream about meeting a paramedic and he was like: why do you wanna be a paramedic? and i was like: cuz i want a job that isnt the same thing every day, something that i can help people in and something that is physical. you know, something that doesnt become repetitive and boring. and he was like: you will LOVE this job then. it DEFINATELY isnt boring or repetitive! and is VERY physical! then he was like: email me if you have any questions ok?? and he gave me his email!! it was AWESOME!!! i dont really feel like ive acocmplished anything... i mean, i know that im only just 19, but i have been in school FOREVER!!! and i still have 2.5 to 3 years left!!! *sighs* well... oh well... Amanda comes back this week!!! i dunno if i like joanne better but maybe thats just cuz i needed to talk to someone really really badly both times. *shrugs* anyways, im gonna make cupcakes because my mom and gramma are comin over tonight (gramma around 5 and mom around 6). Im really really uber excited to see my gramma!!! It has been soooo long since ive actually spent some time with her! I mean, when she was in kitchener unexpectedly that was great, especially since i saw my baby brother, bbut i want to spend some time with her! im gonna make vanilla cupcakes with butterscotch chippies in them!!! plus vanilla icing and maybe some sprinkles... havent decided about that yet. maybe i will put sprinkles on 1/2 of them... anywho, i have to get cleaning my house now. cuz its kinda messy, and gotta make those cupcakes. ttyl all! - randii - 1:28 PM - Aug. 12, 2006 - comments {0} - post commentShow me your loveToday i feel great. Absolutely happy, havent felt like this in a while. I cant explain the feeling, just my soul is singing. And i like it
The song of the day: Tina Carol "Show me your love" Hi, baby, here I am 07:50 - Aug. 12, 2006 - comments {0} - post commentYesterday i've got some problems with my computer - it just didnt want to open any files. Sounds pretty bad, and i really didnt know what to do with it :( But now it is working again and i feel much more better. May be also because i finally got my 9-hours sleep and dont feel so tired as i used to and it feels great :) have a good day everyone 08:47 - Aug. 11, 2006 - comments {0} - post commentanother long day...ok, so even tho today was my birthday, i didnt really do anything birthday-ish. i mean, i went to school (actually got there On TIME!!!) then went to my counselling appointment, (we talked about Michelle guilting me into thinking it was my fault that she wasnt willing to follow the rules and she wasnt willing to do anything) and the fact that her dad called me and asked if she could come and live with me again (she said it was the families responsibility to take care of her and to teach her lessons that they obviously didnt learn while she was younger and that they should take care of it and it definately isnt my responsibility) and we talked about my mom and i and her coming to dinner saturday. we talked about how it would be awkward and uncomfortable because she is always critisizing and judging and everything. she said that it was harder for parents because they always want their children to succeed. she also got me to make a list of things that my mom did well when i was growing up (like me always having somewhere safe to go after school - to the babysitters or a friends or if she was home home - always having at least stuff for a sandwich to eat, her helping out like at girl guides and going camping.)*thinking* i think that we talked about something else, but i cant remember what it was... maybe i wrote it down. just a sec. hmmm, i thought we did, but i guess we really didnt. the only other thing i rememeber is that i asked her if she had seen a lot of Amanda's "clients" and she only had 2 others, but they didnt see her at all. it kinda makes me feel like a freak and weird, but she said that i shouldnt. that Amanda would be proud that i went and talked when i wanted to cut and when i was distressed and when i really needed to talk to someone. *shrugs* i guess i really was taking care of myself though. im kinda proud of me.  oh, i do have some homework, but nothing really exciting, just a journal on my learning styles and a mindmap of my brain. busy work really. hmmm... well, ive been 19 for 2 hours and i dont feel any different. oh well, Happy Birthday Kare! ok, well i think there is more that i wanna blog about, but i am really tired, so im gonna go to bed. ttyl all - randii - 12:06 AM - Aug. 11, 2006 - comments {0} - post comment... tired... but EXCITED!ok, so i am pretty tired, i mean, i woke up late (645) and then found that my hamster escaped - hahahhaha it was sooo cute! she was sleepin on my laundry!!! i wish i had more time to take a pic, still cant figure out how she got out tho... - and i think im FINALLY accepted for my loan!!! I got my buddy Darrin (well, hes more than a buddy, hes my new Boyfriend )oh yeah, im excited because its my birthday in 1 day!!! (the 10th) and i will be 19!!! but im scared too, because, i willl really really be an adult, i mean, i will be able to buy smokes and go to casions and bars and stuff. i dont really have any interest in those things tho. does that make me strange?? also, im excited because darrin is comin to hang out with me soon! we aer gonna watch movies and pig out and go shopping, and its gonna be sooo fun!!!! anyways, im gonna go off to bed now. i didnt get home til just a little bit ago (maybe 25 mins) and im pooped and today i have to go to school, then zehrs (prescription needs to be filled) then to work and i work til 1030, which means i wont be home til like 1130. yesterday, i woke yup, bussed to school, went to my dr's (to fill prescription and ask about lab results) then went to work and just got home now. *sighs* today is gonna be busier cuz of the lottery bein 32 million dollars!! OMGOSH who needs that much money>?? what in the world could you do with that much money??????? oh, my lab results, ive been on iron for a month, and the first time i got my bloodwork done it was less than 5 (? what the measurements are) and this time (on the 24th when it was done) it was 11... normal is somewhere between 40 and 60, so i have a bit to go yet. oh well, i will be happy if it gets to 25. but that is also from taking like 70 mg's of it a day!! (i could take it 3 times instead of 2, but that would mean i would be sick like all day, and we arent sure if it would do anything or react less or anything would happen with my antidepressents.) also, i found out that im hungry a lot because the antidepressents make you hungrier! Aopparently she did that because i wasnt really eating anything in sept to decemebr, and so when she put me on them in december she hoped that it would make me hungrier. well i think it definately worked! i mean, i gained like 100 lbs, and then i lost a bunch of it (between 50 and 60) in the time of about 2 months from going to the gym everyday 3 times a day for an hour at least each time. now ive been advised to only go once a day and for no longer than 1.5 hours. *sighs* oh well, i guess i will have to continue watching more tv and stuff... ove been reading a lot tho. ive read like 4 books in the past 3 weeks. (im on the 5th) anyyways, goin to bed now, ttyl all - randii - 12:17 AM - Aug. 9, 2006 - comments {1} - post comment
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Description My Crazy daily thoughts on life,world,and relationships Home User Profile Archives Friends Recent Entries - It's been way too long - New Job - Return of the Ex - Peace with God? - Don't feel like writing much |
And even makes me put up with the point that never reads my blog anymore 