Men Vs. Women-I will never understand

  So I was reading my Cosmopolitan magazine on the train yesterday and I realized something that made me mad.  Every article that I seemed to read was about how to make your man happy, what guys like, what they don't like, what to do in bed, and what not to do in bed.  To me this seems a little crazy.  When did the world I live in become man obsessed?  I think it might be that is has always been that way but that I just have come to realize it and finally seeing the world for the first time. It is almost like I am back in a little kitchen with my apron on waiting for my husband to come home from work so I can serve him dinner.  I really thought that Cosmopolitan was about women impowerment, the modern woman, and a woman's own happiness.  Sure there is  alot of sex but that's only  because most women are sexual people.  Maybe my perception was totally wrong.  I have been reading magazines since 7th grade.  I even snuck to read Cosmo when my mom wasn't looking.  But honestly I don't want to be reading about how to make my man happy when I am struggling to make my own self be happy.  Maybe most women like the advice, and don't get me wrong I enjoy most the articles but I just don't want to hear every detail about what I should/ shouldn't do in a relationship or in bed.  Don't wear your hair this way because he might not like it, don't call him till the third day, and just maybe he isn't that into you.  Rules were meant to be broken and I don't think playing by a magazines rules is going to get me a huge rock on my finger, and maybe I just don't want that right now.  People should make their own mistakes, experience their own wants and needs in their own relationship.  What works for you might not work for the next person.  It just amazes me how much power men have over women.  Most women I know have changed so many things about themselves to just a man to notice them or stay with them.  I often think why God would put such two opposite types of people, men and women, on this earth.  But when is that we stop thinking about ourselves and only think about them?  I have often made the mistake of entering a relationship as strong, confident, laid back, happy person.  But by the third or fourth month I seem to lose that strong, confident girl.  It is almost like I take the focus off of myself and put it on the guy that I am with to make things easier but they are only harder.  Because what I have learned is that after a break up it is so much harder to get that strong person back because I have put that girl to the side for a while.  I know many girls who do the same thing and then wind up going nuts after a breakup.  I did that last year around this time and I was a total mess.  I would get drunk and cry about my ex and then sleep with someone to make it all go away(for a while).  Most of my friends don't even know who they are without a man in their life.  Some of my friends have never been single.  Every group of girlfriends has one friend that can't stand to be single and they are the girls that fall apart when a relationship goes bad.  I have had friends fall apart, become suicidal over a guy and then next week be in a new relationship.  You have to know what its like to be by yourself, survive and be happy.  Its a hard thing to do, love yourself by yourself.  Even now I know that if I end my relationship I will be a total mess.  But will I be a bigger mess five months from now?  It is one of those things that as a woman I am not sure why or how all of this happens but let me say that I understand why so many girls my age are single.  It is hard enough to make yourself happy, start a career and have a healthy relationship.  But I guess ultimately that is every girls goal.  To have someone to love them and love that person in return.  So maybe it isn't so much a matter of men but love.  That is why I think so many girls are turning to other girls for relationships.  It isn't so much about being a lesbian but just having someone that feels and understands the way you feel.  I personally could not have a relationship with a woman on a romantic level but I fully understand it.  Being with another woman makes sense because they feel and think a lot like you and you dont't have the added pressure to impress, trust and worry about being with a guy. As I grow up I am starting to understand more about relationships with people in general and romantic relationships are just one small part .  But I think I am going to write a letter to Cosmo explaining my feelings and see if anything comes out of it. And maybe for once I will listen to my own advice.     

11:17 AM - Feb. 15, 2006 - post comment