~Lying in a gutter, looking up at the stars~

  It's Saturday and it's raining.  I had a pretty rough night last night and I was forced to drive to work(or I would have been late)...which means I have to pay $22 for parking...yikes!  But I just like knowing I have my car down here and I can just jump in it at 5 and zoom on home. Haha...So I had off yesterday and the day went really well.  I didn't get much done..more like I didn't get anything done.  I woke up around 11 a.m. which is pretty late for me because of my daily routine I am use to.  The night before I goofed up....For all of you who know 4/20 as a holiday like me you would understand what I am about to tell you.  Thursday I had ran into Gabriel for a little ciggy break and we talked about smoking.  Since it was a holiday.  So after work we went to his place and celebrated.  I had told Steve we were going to go out that same night but dumb me lost track of time and winded up taking a really late train and not getting home till tenish.  Steve was mad and I can't blame him.  I pretty much d*icked him over.  So he told me he was going to come pick me up and then never showed.  I let him have that as his own little dignity because of feeling like I did him a little dirty.  So I passed out on my bed in my clothes as soon as I knew he wasn't coming.  But yesterday he got done work at like 12:30 and we drove around all day together.  It was gorgeous and I even got sunburn on my one arm thats near the window.  We spent 5 hours together talking and driving...it was really nice.  I dropped him off because we had both needed to get ready to go out and of course Will is blowing up my phone...he was freaking out at me that Steve never calls him anymore and that he is always with me.  He basically was acting like a little jealous girl and I told him that.  I didn't understand what his deal was.  DRAMA...that I didn't need.  Will seems very emotional and very up Steve's butt.  I know thats kind of mean.  But everything got worked out and we actually all went out together last night.  I am not trying to brag but I loved my outfit.  It was this really hot black lacey shirt and jeans...this new belt and this hot new black heals I bought.  I finally felt a little good about myself.  We went to the Lagoon and then Fat Tuesdays down the city.  It was really cool because this girl I was talking to actually bought me a drink and gave me some of her marti gras beads.  She was absolutely gorgeous. I have such an appreciation for beautiful women.  But I really have an appreciation for all women.  I have no issues checking a girl out and saying a girl is hot.  But the new thing is I think that Steve really likes me(the feeling is pretty mutual)...like I think that he could really see himself with me.  But at the same times he is torn...which is perfectly fine with me because I feel the same way. 

  Not to be totally off the subject but I feel very uncomfortable at work right now.  It seems that I can't do anything right lately.  I haven't had the best attitude this week about work but neither does anyone else in this office.  I can't help to feel a little unhappy here because I just don't know if this is a good fit for me.  Who knows?

  But I must be going....have drawn this blog out long enough...xoxo

1:25 PM - Apr. 22, 2006 - post comment