| *~La Bella Vita~* |
My sister JaymeMy sister is the one person in my life that makes sense to me. She is no doubt my soulmate in life. I remember what it felt like to hear that my parents were having a baby and it was a girl. They actually didn't know what the baby was going to be...they picked both boy and girl names. But I knew right away. I remember my parents hugging and crying about it and I was jumping on their bed yelling I am going to have a sister. I was four what do you expect? When she was born I treated her like a little doll. I always wanted to hug her and kiss her and just touch her. My mom was annoyed with me most of the time because I pretty much sufficated her. But honestly I think she liked it. I was funny to her and she would usually get silent and stare at me when I held her. I read her books and made her listen to my New Kids on the Block tapes on my bright red Sony tape player. As she got older we became closer and closer. I was still little and loved to play and I just turned her into one of my toys. I would put her in my little shopping cart and wheel her around. We grew up liking the same things, we were both girlie girls. Our dad would take us on adventures once a week and we loved it. We have this video of us dancing around our living room while my dad played the piano, that was on of my favorite memories. We were nuts! I got a little older and my parents worked a lot. I took care of her like she was little girl. We often lived at babysitters or the YMCA and I worried about her. Because of being five years apart we often were separated by our age groups. So I would sneak out of my group and go find her, just to make sure she was alright. As she got older she became annoyed with me because she thought I mothered her too much....haha at age four she would yell at me. A few years past and I started to hit my teenage years. I always loved my sister but I felt like she copied me too much and I became annoyed with her. I wanted to be with my friends and I often left her behind. I feel horrible about it thinking back but I can't really change it. I picked on her a lot and made her feel stupid. We would give her the left barbie stuff we didn't want when we played and often teased her when we did play for being the "poor" barbie. We moved and I hit the prime of being a teenager. My parents split up and things became a mess in my family. Years of disfunctional relationships really hurt me and I would run away or act out. My sister being so young didn't know how to deal with things and she stopped eating. She lost a lot of weight and had a eating disorder. She would shake a lot and she was always nervous. She was only 7 or 8. I think her biggest fear was me leaving her behind. There were a few years that I didn't really know my sister. I didn't really care to know her. I was a miserable mess and I didn't care about much. Don't get me wrong my sister knew I loved her but she also knew I couldn't love her the way I wanted to. The difference between us is simple....she is laid back and I am more of an anxiety type person. She is the blonde hair blue eye skinny girl and I am the dark hair, dark eyes, curvy girl. I guess you can say I was always kind of jealous of her. We were both dealt different hands in life and I always felt like hers was the better one. I guess you can say I always resented her for it. Years past and my parents got back together and we became extremely close. She over the last few years she has become a best friend to me...again. Our age gap is shrinking and we have more and more in common. When the movie came out "In Her Shoes" we both went to see it but not with each other. Afterwards we both called each other and said we cried and thought of each other. The relationship those sisters had is just like us. We don't make sense without each other. And the poem she says at the end is what I think of when I think of Jayme.
12:00 PM - Mar. 28, 2006 - post comment
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