Posted on Sep. 13, 2006 at 20:07 - Post Comment

it the first time in my life where i dont know what to do. i never felt sooo helpless. of course i had problems (who doesnt) but i always knew how to deal with them. even though it could take time, but i knew what to do. i always was so self-confident, may be even too much, i could control everything and was happy about that.

now i am lost and helpless and i dont know how to control my emotions - once i am depressed, then i am angry, nervous, frustrated, i cry a lot and i cant do anything about this. i thought is is my weakness, but now i realize that it also could be my strength - that it means that i still have this ability to FEEL and that i will be able to deal with my feelings, i will be able to control them - i dont know how and how much time i will need for this but i sure will do this. i'm afraid i have no choice or i will destroy myself which i dont want at all.

i guess it is good that i realize it now, at least i know what is wrong with me, even  though i dont know how to heal myself...

well... i do know this ... but it not possible.. so all what left for me is to survive another hard situation. i will ... i promise because  i am strong, right? ))

Untitled Comment

Posted by Karen on Sep. 14, 2006 at 08:36-Link

it also means that you have an inner strength that you dont know yet and God will show as you go through the pain.
Take care lena. I know you can get through this.