Grey's Anatomy - Season 2

(episodes 10 -19)

10 - Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Derek: I’m well aware of his recovery time. I’m the one who operated on him, remember?
Burke: I do, you operated, he survived, and he chose me to take over while he recruited your wife.
Derek: Clearly he has brain damage.

Webber: O'Malley, yell at me again and I'll snap you like a small twig.
George: Yes, sir.

(After he overhears Cristina call Derek "McDreamy", a little later, he asks Bailey about it)
Burke: Who is Dr. McDreamy?
Bailey (Takes a long stare at Derek): I'm Dr. McDreamy. I'm tall, I'm handsome, I like to lean against things, ponder the difficulties of datin' beautiful women... I'm trying to be a surgeon here!

(After George punched Alex because Alex gave Olivia syphillis and she gave it to George and Alex has a black eye)
Izzie: You had it coming.
Alex: The dude punches like my sister.
Izzie: Oh, so, by your definition then, you got beat up by a girl.

(After Webber tells George to be his eyes and ears)
George: (talking to himself) Oh, hi, chief. Nope, not much going on, well, other than your intern chief making out with my friend in the stairwell, but hey... sponge duty sucks.
Meredith: (walks up beside him) Talking to yourself now?
George: Yes. No. (pause) Damn it. I'm a bad sponge. A leaky sponge. I'm gonna leak all the wrong secrets. I'm a bad liar. I can't even lie about talking to myself. You look nice today.
Meredith: I wore my new lip gloss because my ex-boyfriend's wife looks like Isabelle freakin' Rossellini and I'm like...me. I'm trying to out do her when she's the victim here, how crazy is that?
George: Not crazy you know, smart, lips gloss you know prevents chapped lips. Y--you--w-was that ex-boyfriend?
Meredith: I am an evil mistress.
George: But still... you look nice.
Meredith: Thanks. What are you doing here?
George: Well...uh--
Meredith: Come on, O'Malley, out with it.
George: Well, could you think of any reason, any reason at all why Cristina would be kissing Burke?

Meredith: Lets play a game of whose life sucks the most. I'll win. I always win.
Cristina: You don't wanna play with me.
Meredith: Oh, I do. I'll even go first. Derek is married.
(George spits his beer out)
Cristina: George, beer is dripping from your nostrils.
(He walks off to the bathroom)
Meredith: Told ya I'd win.
Cristina: No, you didn't win.
Meredith: Did you hear me? I said Derek is married, as in pig-headed adulterous liar married. Nothing you could say could top that.
Cristina: I'm pregnant. I win.

Meredith: I am this close to getting in my car and running you down in the parking lot.

Meredith: After all this time, all your warnings about me sleeping with my boss and you're doing the same exact thing.
Cristina: Oh, it's not the same thing.
Meredith: It's the exact same!
Cristina: No, it's not. You and McDreamy are in a relationship.
Meredith: And you and Burke are in?
Cristina: Switzerland. It's very neutral there and they make very nice watches.

Meredith: You're sleeping with someone?
George: What? Who?
Cristina: Why is that such a shock? Even George managed to get some action.
George: Correction, George got some syphilis.

George: You know Joe?
Bailey: Oh, yeah. I was the only female intern my year. I didn't know anybody and nobody knew me except Joe. He knew me.
George: Oh, so you and Joe?
Bailey: All you people ever think about is how to get into somebody's pants. You nasty. (She slaps him, and Izzie laughs) That's why you got syphilis.

(Meredith puts her arm around Cristina)
Cristina: You realize this constitutes hugging?
Meredith: Shut up...I'm your person.

11 - Enough Is Enough (No More Tears)

Cristina (About Judy Dolls) I dissected them, cut off their arms, shaved their heads.
Alex: Sounds like there is a second twisted story behind this...
Cristina: They are sexist, distorted, devil toys creating unrealistic image expectations in the porn driven minds of men.
Bailey: Swallow a bitter pill this morning, Yang? They're dolls!

(After seeing Derek and Burke argue)
Cristina (To Meredith): Mine's bigger than yours.
Alex: Whip it out, I'll measure.
Cristina: Shut up, Alex.

(Meredith is lying on the bathroom floor and Cristina is lying in the bathtub)
Meredith: It's not us, it's them, them and their stupid boy...penises! They didn't tell me they had a wife, they gave me absolutely no warning that they were gonna break up with you.
Cristina: It's not that Burke broke up with me. It's how he broke up with me. Like it's business, like it's a business transacti--like he's the boss of me.
Meredith: He is the boss of you.
Cristina: What's worse is that I care.
Meredith: I'm gonna throw up again.(Rushes over to the toilet on her knees, and Cristina shuts the shower door) No, wait...false alarm.(Cristina opens the shower door again)
Cristina: The problem is estrogen.
Meredith: No, the problem is tequila.
Cristina: You know, I used to be all business, then he goes and gets me pregnant.
Meredith: With the stupid boy penis.
Cristina: Ugh, now I'm having hormone surges! He ruined me, I'm ruined. He turned me into this fat stupid pregnant girl, who cares. Estrogen.
Meredith: Penises.(Izzie and George walk in the bathroom) Penises, Izzie.
Cristina: Estrogen, George.
(She holds out a cup and Izzie puts water in it)
George(To Izzie): Okay. What'd I miss?
Izzie: I came home to full out vomit drama. Apparently, she dumped Derek. And her, she's been sleeping with Burke.
George: I knew that. (turns to Meredith) So, you really broke up with Shepherd?
Meredith: I feel empty.
Izzie: Yeah, two hours of vomiting will do that to ya.
Meredith: No, I feel empty.
Cristina: You're lucky, I feel pissed off.

Bailey: If they're dead or dying when they come through those doors, you hump and hump hard, why?
George: For the expierence.
Bailey: Ah, no, what else, there's something more.(He doesn't answer) And you think on that, you'll get it, it'll come to you.
(Later)
George: Why do we hump on every dead or dying patient that comes through those doors?
Olivia: Experience?
George: So we can tell their family that we did everything we could.

Cristina: When we're feeling emotional sometimes it's hard to keep a level head and consider all the facts.

12 - Make Me Lose Control

Bailey: You have a problem?
Izzie: No.
Bailey: You have a mocha-latte?
Izzie: No.
Bailey: Then go away.

Bailey: Izzie, the Dr. Shepherds need an intern up in NICU.
Izzie: Wait, both of them? Together? And me by myself...w-with the two married people, who hate each other?
Bailey: Go! Cristina, you're on the thoracotomy.
Cristina: Oh, with Burke? I can't have the hateful married couple instead?

Derek: Nice hat.
Richard: Shut up.
Derek: What are you doin' here?
Richard: I'm going back to work.
Derek: You're not cleared for surgery.
Richard: Leave me alone, Derek. I've been sitting home for a week watching Oprah give away things on T.V. Oprah, Derek! You clear me now or I'll hurt you.
Derek: If you want me to clear you, you should have thought about that before you gave chief to Burke. And before you invited Satan to Seattle.
Richard: Satan?
(Addison gets in the evelvator)
Addison: Good morning. Richard, I like the hat.
Derek (addressing Dr. Webber): Satan speaks.
Addison: Actually, I prefer to be called Ruler of All That Is Evil.(Richard laughs) But I will answer to Satan.

Alex: You could talk, you know if you need to.
Meredith: I'm fine.
Alex: You've said that word so many times today, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore. I'm just saying you can talk to me cause, you know, even if I repeat every word you say no one around here likes me - they'd just call me a liar and move on.
Meredith: Izzie likes you. (smiles) You're blushing.
Alex: Shut up.

(Cristina and Meredith are jogging in the park.)
Cristina: (breathing heavily) Oh, you're stupid. Oh, god, you're stupid evil sadist, and I wanna kill you.
Meredith: Endorphins are good. Endorphins are mood elevators. This is supposed to make us feel better.
Cristina: Do you feel better?
(Cristina stops running and Meredith runs circles around her.)
Cristina: Slutty mistress.
Meredith Pregnant whore.
Cristina: Sleeping with our bosses was a great idea!
(Meredith stops running now.)
Meredith: You know what's ruined for me?
Cristina: Huh?
Meredith: Ferry boats. I used to love ferry boats. Derek's got a thing for ferry boats, and now every time I see a freakin' ferry boat--
Cristina: You know what's ruined for me? Coronary artery and aortic aneurysms. God, I used to love aortic aneurysms.
(They lie down on the ground.)
Meredith: Have you cried yet?
Cristina: Hello! Do you think we'd feel better if we cry? You know just like let it out.
Meredith: Probably, yeah.
Cristina: Do you want to cry now?
Meredith: No!
Cristina: Ok, let's--let's jog.
(They don't get up from the ground.)

Meredith: If there's an upside to freefalling, it's the chance you give your friends to catch you.

13 - Deny, Deny, Deny

Derek: Meredith kissed me, Addison kissed me. My wife and my girlfriend kissed me, on the same day.
Bailey: Joe, do I look friendly to you?
Joe: Oh, you're a tiny little kitten of joy and love. (She gives him a look) What? You saved my life.
Bailey: First mistake. McDreamy, go sit by someone who cares.
Derek: Everything's gonna be fine. Addison'll go back to New York, me and Meredith will start over. Everything's gonna be fine, right?
Bailey: You so damn stupid.

Meredith: (Voiceover) Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. It's a freaking ocean.

Cristina: (crying uncontrollably) Make it stop, Make it stop. Somebody sedate me!

George: You're officially AWOL you know.
Cristina: I'm working. I'm trying to figure out what's going on with the crazy woman on four.
George: You are the crazy woman on four.
Cristina: I made a break for freedom.

14 - Bring The Pain

Cristina: So here's where we are: I work too much, I'm competitive, I'm always right, and I snore.
Burke: What?
Cristina: I'm trying here.

(Meredith, Cristina and Izzie are leaning over the balcony at the hospital)
Meredith: You should take something.
Cristina: Drugs are for babies.
Izzie: I hate Alex.
Cristina: And the non sequitur award goes to…
Izzie: I’m sorry, but I hate Alex.
Meredith: I broke up with Derek.
Cristina: Burke wants to have a relationship.
Izzie: Boys are stupid.
Cristina: Yep.

Alex: So, dude. What’s the deal with Izzie?
George: She shaved her legs for you.
Alex: And?
George: And you didn’t kiss her goodnight.
Patient: She shaved her legs for you and you didn’t follow through?
Alex: Hey I followed through, I always follow through.
George: You didn’t last night.
Alex: Mind your own business.
George: Mind… She had expectations, women have expectations and you didn’t meet them. Hey I live with these women and every time you guys don’t meet their expectations I have to hear about it. So it is my business.

(Cristina is presenting a patient and he turns on porn)
Cristina: Is that--
Marie: Porn.
Bailey: Porn? (Looks at TV) As in porn!
Alex: What are you watching?
Bailey: Karav, go stand in the hall. Uh..Mr. and Mrs. Lamont, I'm sure you're really... nice people and what you do in the privacy of your own home... look, we can't have porn in here. This is a hospital.
Henry: It's for my pain. My doc says it releases endorphins in the brain and it helps keep my pain at a managable level.
George (stunned, and not taking his eyes off the TV): Really?
Bailey: George, hall.
Izzie: What is this?
Marie: Um... "Nasty Naughty Nurses..." (looks at TV) "...4".
(Meredith, Izzie and Cristina all turn their heads to view the porn better)
Cristina: That does not look comfortable.
Meredith: Trust me, it’s not.
(Cristina and Izzie look at Meredith)
Bailey (snaps fingers): Get in the hall.

(Izzie opens George's bedroom door and turns on the light and wakes him up)
Izzie: Seriously! Move over.(She gets into the bed)
George: Ugh, I'm sleeping.
Izzie: Oh, shut it.
George: Shut--(turns over and goes to sleep)
(Scene cut, then Meredith comes into his room)
Meredith: Seriously!
George: This is a very small bed.
Meredith: He is a brain surgeon.
Izzie: I look fantastic. I shaved my legs.
Meredith: He’s a brain surgeon. How can he be so brainless?
Izzie: Seriously!
Meredith: Seriously!
George: Shhhh. (pats them both on the shoulder) Go to sleep.

15 - Into You Like A Train

Cristina: You're my boyfriend! I mean, I know I don't have much experience with this kind of thing but, aren't boyfriends supposed to help in situations like this?
Burke: Cristina, when we're on duty I can't be your boyfriend.
Cristina: Ok, so when we're on duty, I can have sex with someone else?
Burke: Dr. Yang, I'm walking away now.

Meredith: You operated on a heart earlier, George. You'd think you could draw a little blood.
George: I rocked that heart.
Meredith: Yeah, you did!
George: I think I'm strung out on the scalpel.

Meredith: So basically whoever you move doesn't stand a chance.
(Bailey, McDreamy, Burke and George fall silent.)
Meredith: So how do you choose? How do you decide who gets to live?

16 - Something To Talk About

Bailey: Turn around, walk away.
Derek: From what?
Bailey: From my intern.
Derek: But I wasn't--
Bailey: Yes, you were. Look, look, look, you can't do this, you don't have the right. Not anymore.
Derek: I just wanna find out if she's okay.
Bailey: She's not. She's a human traffic accident and everybody is slowing down to look at the wreckage. She's doing the best she can with what she has left. Look I know you can't see this because you're in it. But you can't help her now, it'll only make it worse. Now walk away and leave her to mend.

17 - Let It Be

Alex: What are you pissed about?
Izzie: You look at everything in a skirt.
Alex: I'd look at you in a skirt, something short, maybe school girl. Pleated.
Izzie: If that skirt didn't have a big pair of bouncing boobs attached to it, you'd stop looking.
Alex: You cut 'em off, you build 'em back up. Maybe you get to upgrade, life goes on.
Izzie: If there was a genetic test for testicular cancer you think men who tested positive would have this surgery? No, because it's castration. What man would willingly get rid of the part of his anatomy that makes him a man? This woman is having herself castrated. And we book an OR and act like it means nothing. It's not nothing. God, how could you possibly act like it's no big deal? I mean what if it was me?
Alex: Izzie, you're freaking out you know that, right?
Izzie: If I was the one with the cancer gene. I mean what if I showed up tomorrow and my boobs were made of plastic and my skin had aged 10 years and my sex drive had dried up. If it was me Alex, would you be so fine with it then? (He doesn't say anything) Yeah, you'd be really hot to kiss me with tongue then, wouldn't you?(She leaves)
(Later)
Alex: Here's the thing - I like your rack.
Izzie: God, what is wrong with you? Why do you have to be so - what is wrong with you?
Alex: I like your rack and I'd want them around if I could have them, trust me I would, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if you got rid of them... because really, I'd want you. (Izzie slaps him) Ow! What was that for? (she kisses him)

(After Webber asked her about the fellowship a few times before)
Webber: You're being wooed aren't you?
Bailey: Excuse me?
Webber: The fellowship, LA Med, Chicago Central. They're wooing you. I mean, you're fielding offers, you're looking at bonus packages, you're letting yourself be wooed.
Bailey: Chief I--
Webber: It's fine. It's fine. Go be a hotshot some where else. But tell me...how could you do this to me? I mean, I'm hurt, I'm really hurt. After all I've done for you. You're gifted and you're ungratful. And that's all I'm sayin'.
Bailey: I'm pregnant you blind moron.
Webber: You're what?
Bailey: My heart rate is 110, I'm burning 3000 calories a day, my legs are swollen, I got indigestion and gas. Did you know that carrying a boy in your uterus means that you burn 10% more calories than if you had a girl. Guess what I'm carrying? I tried for 7 damn years and a month before my fellowship notifications the stick turns blue. Men; from the very beginnin' they just suck the life right outta you. I'm not leaving. I'm pregnant.
Webber: Um...congratulations.

18 - Thanks For The Memories

Cristina: (To Izzie after invited Burke to Thanksgiving dinner) What was I supposed to do? Blow off my boyfriend for Thanksgiving? (pause) I tried to. He wouldn't blow. He's like something sticky that won't blow off.

(After Burke starts helping Izzie cook)
Cristina: I'm gonna need liquor, lots and lots of liquor.

Alex: I tell you something, you tell me something.
Meredith: OK. I feel like one of those people who's so freakin' miserable, they can't be around normal people. Like I'll infected the happy people. Like I'm some miserable, diseased, dirty ex-mistress. Your turn.
Alex: I failed the medical boards. If I tell Izzie she'll be nice about it and all supportive and optimistic. She might as well rip my nads off and turn 'em into earrings.

(Wtaching Izzie and Burke cook)
Joe: 10 says she dries out the turkey.
Walter: 20 says she pulls it off.   
Cristina: 75 says I don't care.

*walter was cute...too bad he was joe's date...

Joe: Happy Thanksgiving.
Cristina: Joe, thank god.
Joe: Hey, this...is my boyfriend. Walter.
Cristina: Whatever. Tell me you brought liquor.
Joe: I brought pie, pumpkin.
Cristina: You're a bartender.
Joe: Did you bring scalpels?

(On the phone)
George: I'm in hell.
Cristina: I'm the one in hell. Burke's going all Iron Chef in your kitchen. Get your ass back here and save me.
George: I'm in the woods with shotguns and liquor. It's like deliverance out here.
Cristina: Well, at least you've got liquor. Where does Meredith keep the booze?
George: Um...I don't think she has any.
Cristina: How's that possible? She's a wasp. Liquor is like oxygen to a wasp.
George: Which is why we're out of liquor. Listen, can you come and get me?
Cristina: Ok, how am I supposed to get through the holidays without liquor, George?!

(Bailey and Meredith meet Dr. Kent, the sub attending from Mercy West, on Thanksgiving)
Bailey: Dr. Kent.
Dr. Kent: Yes.
Bailey: I'm the surgical resident assisting you today. I know you're subbing in from Mercy West, so if there's anything I can do to help you --
Dr. Kent: Look I'm only here for one day and I don't need my ass kissed. All I need is to tell you what to do and you do it. And I don't like mistakes.
Bailey: I don't make mistakes.
Dr. Kent: Whatever, there's only one resident I want in my OR; a guy they call The Nazi. Do you know him?
Bailey: The Nazi?
Dr. Kent: He gets a great word of mouth, stellar rep, balls the size of Texas?
Bailey: That big? Sounds like an impressively talented man, this 'Nazi.'
Dr. Kent: Do you know him or not.
Bailey: Never heard of him but I'll be sure to keep an eye out.
Dr. Kent: For now you can work on smaller cases. A guy just came in to curtain 3. Page me if you get confused.
Bailey: I'll be sure to do that. (to Meredith, as Dr. Kent walks away): Like I said the stupidity of the human race.

George (to his brother): You shot Dad in the ass! Are you happy now!?

Dr. Bailey: Go home now!
Dr. Webber(shouting to Doctor Bailey as she gets in the elevator): This kind of treatment is why they call you the Nazi!
(Dr. Kent hears that and turns to look at Dr. Bailey in the elevator as it is closing and realizes that she is the Nazi)
Dr. Bailey: Happy Thanksgiving

19 - Much Too Much

Meredith: Why do they always look so sad when I kick them out? (Cristina laughs) Seriously, why do guys not understand that when you pick them up in a bar and take them home for sex that there are no white picket fences or kids in your future? (Cristina pulls a key out of her pocket) Burke keyed you?
Cristina: I got freakin' keyed before coffee.
Meredith: What is wrong with them?
Cristina: They like these 1950's debutants: one dance and you have a shotgun to your head.
(Steve walks up, Meredith's one night stand)
Steve: Meredith. (She looks stunned) You work here?
Meredith: What are you doing here? Steve.
Cristina (Whispers to Meredith): Steve, Steve?
Steve: I'm having a little problem. Actually I'm having a big problem. (He moves his jacket from his waist. Meredith is looking at his face still, but Cristina sees it)
Meredith: What?
Cristina: Steve. Hi. Cristina.
Steve: Ever since you and I, it won't go away. (Meredith sees what he's talking about now, Cristina keeps staring)
Meredith: Cristina!
Cristina: What? It's right there looking at me. (Steve looks embarrassed) Oh, there are so many things I could say right now. (Pats Meredith’s shoulder) Champ.

George: Ugh, another sleepless night in Seattle.
Izzie: Who was it this time? Hairy back guy?
George: You know who I miss? Inapporiate facial hair guy. You know he did his own dishes.
Izzie: Huh, tattooed ass guy made coffee.
George: Yeah. He's a keeper.(Izzie looks at him) What? What? Meredith? I'm over her.
Izzie: Okay.
George: I am.
Izzie: I can see that.
George: Is she trying to set some kind of record?
Izzie: At least she has a goal.
(They see the guy leave)
George: Oh, he's new.
Izzie: And I shall name him running guy.
George: You know who I heard Alex come home with last night? You.
Izzie: I don't wanna talk about it.(George laughs) Actually, I really wanna talk about it. But he doesn't wanna talk about it because there were...technical difficulties.
George: What?
Izzie: You know he didn't...(Makes motion with he hand) He didn't--
George(laughs): Oh no---
Izzie: Stop it.(He keeps laughing) You can't say anything.(He laughs harder) George, stop it.
George: I mean I'm at least thinking about making fun of him the next time I see him.
Izzie: He said it never happened before.
George: That's what we all say. And I mean they. What they all say.
Izzie: I don't know maybe this relationship just isn't meant to be. I mean I just---I just need some sex, George. I just (She grabs his shirt hard and angry) I need sex now! You know what I mean?
George: No matter how hard you beg...I'm not doing you.

Yang: What the hell is this?
Burke: It's a key.
Yang: Why?
Burke: Why is it a key? Are we feeling existential this morning?
Yang: Well, if the key turns in a lock, and no one asked for the key or even wanted the key, does it make a sound?