i hate depression.

i mean really i hate it.

it has ruined my life and made it a misery.

i cannot remember the last time i was truly happy.

oh no wait i can, it was the night me and seedy were playing chess with his gothic chess set and we had 3 null and void games in a row.

the gargolyes were hard to distinguish between.

i miss seedy, i havent seen him in 6 months, since the day rex broke up with me.

i mean i still talk to him, online and texting and sometimes i call him, but its not the same.

you cant hug someone when speaking over the phone.

there are just some things you need to say in person.

i want to talk about my problems to him again. he is such a good listener.

he would just hold my hand, and let all the tears aand worries and fears come out, and when i was finished he'd just hug me and give me advice and it would all be ok.

 i have this soft toy, a dog, at home.

i know im to old to have teddies but this is one of the only ones im gonna keep forever.

i named him seedy, coz the fur on the dog looks like seedy's hair, (except the dog is grey and seedy is blond)

i cuddle him at night.

its almost as good as the real thing.

i really need to see him again and soon. he is the only one i can really talk to.

*hugs*