Detrimental Entanglement

My Full Moon Was Yesterday

"You shouldn't talk today, everything you say is bitter and cynical."
Where have you been for the past six months?

Part of my depression is related to my biological errors, so it isn't all heartache induced. Only mostly.
It doesn't help that the most painful day ever is tomorrow, and I'm all alone. Not that it matters, because I would just go out of my way to ignore him if he were here. Still, just knowing that he isn't here is killing me slowly.

So far I have:
  • Baked three types of cookies
  • Watched The Notebook, Moulin Rouge, Romeo+Juliet, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Sabrina, Roman Holiday, 10 Things I Hate About You, and Three Coins in a Fountain
  • Thrown up twice
  • Cried for at least a collective five hours
  • Slept far too much
  • Showered seven times in the last three days
  • Listened to waaay too much Simon and Garfunkle
  • Listened to "Only One" on repeat for three hours
  • Been to the gym four times
My evaluation:
There is something deeply and truly wrong with me.
Val: do it
Tyson: but how ?
Val: flowers, poetry
Val: chocolate
Val: candles
Tyson: o.O
Val: dusk.. beautiful sunset
Val: her hair gleams in the dying light
Tyson: ummm
Val: your pulse quickens, the scent of vanilla from the candles is intoxicating...

I'll write you poetry, light candles, bring you roses, and watch you eat chocolate.
The new soundtrack of my life:
  • Destroyer, City of Daughters
  • Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, No More Shall We Part
  • The Cure, Galore
  • The Decemberists, 5 Songs
  • Iron and Wine, Woman King
  • The All-American Rejects, Self-titled
  • Vivaldi, Gloria- Nulla in mundo pax sincera
All for now.
God, my life has left me feeling like an Alanis Morriset album.
Someone shoot me.
I am anti-social. I can't make eye-contact. I can't talk to people face-to-face. I can't admit that I hurt, that I cry, that I throw up at the drop of a hat. I'm frightened of confrontation, I am bitter, I am cynical. I change my mind, my fickle romances remain. I have become what I swore I wouldn't.
Different.

Different isn't special, different isn't great. Different is just... Different.





Pi

7:51 PM - Monday, February 13, 2006 - post comment

"Your Tank is Gross" - Poor lil fishy..

Smile. Life isn't that depressing. You just have to abide by the rules your
"friends" throw at you until you become a big girl..


Boy oh boy I can't wait til I grow up...

-E-

Alex - 9:13 PM - Monday, February 13, 2006

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