Everything is going so perfectly for me , everything except the thing that matters to me most. I am sooooo all about love, lol it's actually kinda sickening. lAST YEAR I FELL OUTTA LOVE, i needed to and wanted to because i was beginning to hate the person, but falling in love with someone else has proved to be such a hugeeeee mistake. I feel as though i've lost everything , yet gained nothing to and from this person. I feel likei yet again failed at love.

First love struck out, second love struck out too...perheps third time around will be the charm, perhaps not. I feel with my whole heart that the second guy will come around, but the more i think about it, the more it pains me.

My love is so pure, it really is, when i love, i want to make sure the guy is happy in all areas, i just want the same in return. But when i fall in love and that is not returned i feel like i have just wasted my love, and that suckens and east away at me.

The first guy is coming back around now, well he's back full force, i love u, i'm willing to make moves, im willing to do whatever.......it's good, it's like yes! finally, ..but..i don't love u anymore, dude, what took so long! Am i wrong for not wanting to give in to it?

I just for once want to STILL love the person when they come around.

The second guy pains my heart so bad because he at one point was giving me everything i needed emotionally, physically, he was completely open...BUT when i asked him to be mine, he said no....ahhh and so it kept happening, i allowed it to keep happening because i wanted to still be in love with him so tha when he's ready i'll be ready to...but it's just so hard, so hard to watch someone u love not love u back. So finally, finally im ending it...it just hurts so much and is so hard.But oh well, all i know is tha im done with love for awhile. I know i've said it before, but this time im going to listen to myself and to God.

I jus can't believe im exactly where i was a year ago , with someone who says they love me, but just so insistent on holding back...i dun understand why this happens, but it happens, so i'll deal with it.