saying ," i don't want to talk about this anymore" instead of arguing until ur blue in the face reaching NO conclusion is a much better way to go.

This has been QUITE a week and it's only tuesday =/  I didn't intend on blogging about this, but someone upset me and got my blog juices flowing so here I am...anyway, SUNDAY i thought i was going to lose a good friend, the very person who offered me the advice that saved my sanity tonight.

It was crazy, i was at his house chilling with him and his friend's, well im a people person..especially around guys..not in the fast..hot to trot way, but just in the sense that i get along better with them. I intended on keeping my distance..which i did for the most part, but someone things  still managed to get interesting...by the end of the night my friend concluded that he is still in love with me, no matter how much he tries to fight it. The realization came in the form of his friends 'googling" me ( checking me out) ..he punched one of them, and thought for sure i was in the room with the door locked with the same guy ( who has a gf --my friend works with both of them ) i was amazed and shocked , but not offended. I told my friend that maybe he should distance himself, and was sure he was going to. There's nothing worse( i know there is , but u know wha i mean) than being in love with someone who isn't in love with u.

I don't want to keep rehasing why we are not together, but still even with my resistance to date he's still extremly giving to me..and in all areas. I feel extreme guilt over that sometimes, like hmm i don't deserve it...and also guilt because i enjoy it . In the end, if he needed to go i would let him, i often think that i need to be the one who backs away. Who knows , maybe i'll find the strength to do so.