Come Vibe With Me ..... - Still Depressed....

Ahh,so i went to work later than usual and i still felt "inadequate" ..i dunno where this feeling comes from, but it's def there. I'm feeling so down and low these days ..ahh the agony of feeling this way and not really understanding why or where it comes from....all i know is tha i feel this way in every aspect of my life, job, family, friends, and of course love...I had a date tonight...he's a really cute guy , big ole ears lol, nice complextion, kinda stocky, kinda short...jus a lil taller than me, but i dunno...i dun think he was feeling me, and im not sure how much i was feeling him. The whole time i jus kept thinking, "im ready to go" lol...then after the dinner i was gonna go hang with tw but i had to stop home first so my bro could do something on my comp, but silly me, i waste my to go box ( orange chicken ) all over my new outfit...so i had to change and ended up just changing into my night gown. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone, i mean I'm talking to Tw now and thas coo, but i don't feel like talking to D or Tee or anyone who can upset me.

I dunno, for some reason those two have really been getting under my skin lately...i feel like those two i really gave myself too and put forth so much emotion jus to get emotionally screwed and sometimes tha really pisses me off lol i mean i know D got tricked badly in the beginning..but he chose to stick around...and in choosing to do so the relationship could have survived..could have...but someone had some growing to do..which i understand personal growth...but ahh it still is jus like blah. And Tyrus...sometimes i want to throw things at him,tonight i wanted to throw the phone at him ,....his reaction to my date tonight was to announce to everyone in the car that "man, this girl im talking to is a pimp, she got a diff nigga every week, when i want to see her i have to make appointment" No the fukk u don't...u never ask to see me..nigga lol whatever..go cry to someone else...yes imma pimp, a pimp who doesn't need ur sorry azz.

It's Christmas time and i got all my shopping done..(yay) i can't wait to open my gifts and see wha everyone else got under the tree.I got myself some perfume, some pants, two jackets, and a computer game lol ...Merry Christmas to me..fukk everyone else ...

ughh i wish i could say tha and actually mean it...Christmas is not about gifts, it's about the birth of Christ...i am not a hethen..i do know tha lol ..and it is also about love, which at the moment, i only want to share with my family and real friends.

P.S
You do like a challenge....how often did i hear u complain about how she never calls u, or when she does it's jus to talk about her problems, or how she makes plans with u then cancels.....so if this person does all tha then wtf would u want to try anything with them, or even care that u 'tried, but didn't really try" A challenge...i dun care if u agree or not......the only reason this annoys me so much is becuz everyone seems to be like u ..and tha makes it hard for people like me who care who actually freaking care and actually want to show and express it..Blah