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I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help.....

StuffDec. 13, 2005

 Work ; I'm tired...lol work has been coo..stressful, i'm actually getting along with the girl who wanted to fight me, i found out she's actually a pretty good teacher and she asks my advice on alot of things. I'm so worried...i do not want to get STUCK at this job , but anyway.

Friends;, slowly but surely J and i have been hanging out like nothing ever happened between us...i jus thought about it the other day but at least she's not as negative to be around. I still have at least one thing to get her for Christmas, I'm finished for Tw, although i might go back to wal-mart and pick up this really coo thing tha he better like lol . K called me the other day, i missed the call but called him back shortly after, it was a very rushed convo..i was like how u doing, wha u bene up to..'good" alright, i'll talk to u later. I haven't spoken to CC since Halloween...and don't really plan on doing so. D has been down about some stuff, ..we really haven't talked much lately.

Guys; nothing spectacular..i have a thing on Sat ...i've stopped feeling guilty for seeing other guys...Tw was right why should i feel guilty when we're apart if i know i did right when we were together? Especially if it's the guys fault or doing for the split..it's like get the f*ck over urself...but no ..for some reason when it pertains to me guys always want to throw a hissy when they see me moving on.
James brought me orange juice and cough drops last night..( i'm kinda sick) i tried to pay him for it but he wouldn't take my $$$ i really appreciated it tho cuz i REALLY needed it. It was a gallon and gone already..actually it was gone by 2 pm( took it to work) he's a really sweet guy...but i can tell this sex thing will be a problem with him..he's very hands on..and i haven't even kissed him ..but he'z always trying to test the waters like last night while hugging he kept creeping his hands down my back getting close to my butt and i would pull away a bit and he'd stop. He also kept trying to reach his hands across my chestr( where yo bra at>?) Dude it's freaking 11;30 at night, i told u i was in the bed when u called ...wha do u expect lol BUT i was wearing a turtle neck( yes..i was sleeping in a turtle neck) So it's jus like hrmm...well im going to go wrap my presents..i still have to get Tee something and finish up for my mom and Al.



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