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| I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help..... |
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Having
a period sucks!It sucks so bad lol at least my crapz weren't HORRIBLE
today but it's only day two so we'll see how tomorrow goes...anyway..my
friend asked me over for a movie night and i would have gladly gone but
im so irritated and jus want to be by myself until this passes (
lol)..anyway so my new classroom has me kind of limited to how i can
use the bathroom, and when it comes to bad smells it's like i'm O. C..i
jus hate bad smells so i tend to use the restroom and "freshen up" A
LOT during this time lol so im at work going crazy....every two hours
is the bare minimum i like to go, so imagine my horror when i hate to
wait 3 and a half hours to be excused from my class..=/...I take soap
and a lil wash cloth with me so it takes me awhile and even though i
dun recall having a odor problem during this time, i dun EVER want to
experience tha lol so anyway im sitting on the floor with my kids and
one of the school agers comes up to me and is like, " u have something
on ur pants" now in my mind I am freaking out...i wear shorts over my
undies to protect against leaks and my flo is pretty light today so his
announcement shocked me to no end, but i was relieved when i stood up
to discover it was just WHITE paint lol... ok the real stuff.... my mom and Sam are getting pretty cozy..they went to breakfast this morning and she spent the day at his place after he gave her a tour of his lil city. I'm not AS bothered , but i am still bothered lol... I found out my co-worker tiffany who has a boyfriend is actually looking for the same thing i am, in one word, 'security" ...i dunno not like someone to take care of u like materially, but emotionally ,yes,hell yes...i see her talking to her boyfriend all the time and must admit felt a lil envious( not jealous) i recall sighing once and saying,"must be nice" because her boyfriend was coming by to give her a hug ! Anyway we were talking and she was telling me how she cares for him, but there are still jus things...she went on to say" i am young and i want to see wha else is out there, but i really want to be in a relationship" I was thinking hmm, reminded me a lot of me and Tee. I know i can get someone taller, smarter, not in love with someone else lol....but i really wanted to be in a relationship and i did like him ... I STILL really wanna be in a relationship, but i really am trying to take my time and be patient. James would take care of me emotionally, but he's not wha im looking for. Twyon is the best at taking care of my emotional needs and i have a lot so tha says a lot about him lol but it's really gonna suck when he gets a g/f because i know he wont be able to be there the way he usually is and thas ok, he deserves to be happy too. My friend jus found out she failed at something she was looking forward to so much, i know she's really down, because she takes things even worse than i do, imagine that! (Im freaking COLD!!!!!!!!!!) sO IM GONNA GO UPSTAIRS....my other friend is feeling down, jus one of those days, well i hope u feel better. Grr James jus called, he's a coo guy but im jus niot attracted to him.....hmm maybe if he didn't show up with a booger in his nose things would be different..it's jus ..who shows up for a first date with a nose FULL of boogers..i mean sticking out BOLDLY...like dude..dun u have mirrors in ur truck tha u can check before u step out..i dunno jus made me feel like tha kina stuff isn't important to him, and i dun like sloppy guys =/ | ||
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