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| I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help..... |
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I
realize that in life we make excuses for people we love. We excuse
things they do because we don't want to accept it for whatever reasons.
It's been a long, long year of excuses for me, myself included. I
refuse to bring that behavior into the new year with me, people told me
over and over that it was called "cheating" but i deluded it, i poured
water in it, and drowned it with sugar, " no it wasn't, we weren't
together" But you see we were only apart for about 4 days roughly, and
love takes time, love takes time to grow and fester...it takes time to
even THINK ur tha in love with someone..and the kind of love I
WITNESSED didn't jus occur in 4 days...rotten luck...i'd say i have
just rotten luck when it comes to guys...but anyway yes, he finally
admitted to me that he did like her during our realtionship, and
flirting with her and allowing her to get as close as he did while we
were together all contributed to him CHEATING on me. He may not have
kissed her, or touched her..but did he think about it? Did he not even
have enough respect for me to wait more than 4 days after our year long
relationship ended to start their tainted romance? Why is this all coming out of me now? Because love is all around me, and it forces me to think about my past, present..and future relationships? That, it still bothers me very much that he can't and doesn't see how fukked up it was, he only believes him losing his V to her was the thing he did wrong... So , lately i'd been thinking about my reoccuring feelings for him, and how i've been again making excuses for him. He always asks the question," did u have to worry about me and other girls when we were together?' and the answer is yes...i did..i was just to dumb and naive to realize it then..just like he's too dumb and naive to realize it now. I respect the **** of out of Tee right now, even though it hurts me.I wish that when it was happening to me, D could have done what Tee is doing now, because Tee is doing the right thing. My mother is actually the person who helped me realize how dumb i'd been in regards to my ex. Her guy friend was married, but as soon as he got a divorce his wife was remarried within a week of their divorce...hmmm i wonder how that happened?? I AM an emotional person, and i love hard when i love, so i know that i can't chance my heart to someone who can't see or understand what mental cheating is and how it ruins a relationship jus as much as physical cheating. Everyone, please if u are in a relationship with someone u really love and want to be with, if u have or can see urself developing strong feelings for someone else. DISTANCE urself from that person, because ur mate WILL notice and it will EFFECT them and ur future.... | ||
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