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| I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help..... |
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Daddy i miss you... It's Hard to cope with my life don wana go on without u daddy.. (still at night i cry) I still can't understand, why did u have to leave me? Y couldn't i jus end all ur pain I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy cuz when ur parents gone it hard to believe that is part of life tha u must go on.. they would want u still to be strong... ^Ginuwine two reasons i cry^ Oh gosh, every time i try to attempt a poem about my fathers death i can't....as i sit listening to this song depeict exactly how i feel i STILL can't let my emotions flow into a written account of my deepest heartache. It's really hard for me to wrap my mind around the FACT that my dad is never coming back, tha im never going to see his face or hear his voice again, or know that he's just a phone call away whenever i need to talk. My best friend.... i could go to him for anything, it didn't matter what i said, he never made me feel bad for it........he LOVED me, and loved me unconditionally, loved all of us, and adored my mom...and im so hurt =( Because i wonder if i'll ever find that kind of "earthly" love again, and im so hurt because now my mom is all alone, and i see the hurt in her when she goes to parties and dances with her sister and she scuffles around trying to find something she can be 'cute" in....because the man she loved of over 30 years, the only man she ever knew physically, the man she grew up with, and made her feel like a woman is gone..so when i ask her if she thinks she is pretty she shurgs her shoulders and says, " not really"and i look at her and wonder how could tha be???? And she says," ur dad always told me i was pretty, and almost made me feel pretty, but i never seen it in myself"... wha do i say to comfort her? How do u comfort someone who lost their soulmate? Who is lonely, but doesn't feel they are attractive and can get someone else when she is ready? *sigh* Hopefully this hurt will pass...it doesn't hurt as bad everyday, but the days when it does, it really stings. | ||
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