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I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help.....

Getting Easier heheNov. 4, 2005

Despite the way things have been going with me and Tee lately , it's still getting easier to put my feelings at bay for him. He's still a great guy and still makes me feel like we're the only people in the room when we are together, but..i know he isn't "the guy" for me, and i don't want to end up 'stuck" in a relationship with the wrong guy.

I'm  still pretty  frustrated when it comes to guys tho. I don't feel guilty about me and Tee anymore, but i decided to have an open mind about someone, even though i find it hard sometimes. Maybe it's the distance thing, i'd feel so much better if there weren't so many problems  with us, i mean it's hard to make things right again and try to re~build feelings with such distance, i'm not going into anything  'blindly' you know how love can  do tha to ya, but instead now im being forced to think, think, think, and constantly think , and sometimes i don't wanna think, sometimes i dun wanna 'evuluate' sometimes i jus wanan 'go with it'  everytime i think about it, i start to think of all the things tha happened tha i didn't like, and everything is so fresh in my mind, when so far off  is his, he can't recall crap..when i have it memorized, i'll make a list tonight of all the pro's and con's and putting anymore time and effort into this, it's jus sometimes i feel like if u've already given a person all of u and they didn't take it, do u have anything left to give them?
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beautifully written...Nov. 6, 2005
i can feel u.
take karez,
C.
Posted by 4everlostnalone

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