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| I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help..... |
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Talk
about reality... i have an outstanding medical bill..that keeps growing
because i have no insurance and frequent the doctor regularly, but
neway..i get this call today from the collection agency, and the women
dipped all in my business," well as a loan officer don't you get some
kind of base pay? " I'm just like oh lordy..." well how have u been
supporting urself since u left the daycare, i mean i don't understand
that." Well, how come ur looking for a part time , instead of full time
job, cause this is a large bill ." i was ready to verbal choke slam
this woman, but with my own attitude, i said, " yes there is a reason,
a medical one." and that's all miss thing had to say. Get out my
business heffa!, I'll pay u guys, i called to say i wanted to take care
of this thing, instead of ignoring it like i had been. Anyway, maybe i need 2 part time jobs? lol i dunno, i want to work at a daycare, but i can't swing working one a full 8 hours.....i mean i love kids , they are my passion, but daycare kids are horribly behaved, and most daycare centers have the teachers over worked and under payed. But...i do need benefits, i need insurance, my medicine cost 75 dollars and that's not even for a full prescription. Sometimes i have to get the cheapest one which is 15 pills for 35 bucks! I'm supposed to take two pills a day mind you.... Anyway, that's why i'm working so hard to get this weight off. I do not want to stay on these meds....and i believe that with my hard work and deligence this 'ailment" will completely go into remission...( i have too much cranial fluid pushing on my brain...they call it a tumor only it is none cancerous) I have beat brain surgery..for the longest they wanted me to get it, but i fought through it, and amazingly so ( to God be the glory). They said weight loss would help relieve the pressure in my head, so i left my job with benefits cuz it was either brain surgery and have a stupid tube going from my head to my stomach ( a shunt) for the rest of my life or go out there and get busy. Well since January i have lost over 30 lbs ! It hasn't been easy, but i wasn't gonna take the easy way out, the easy fix, when i could just lose weight, which i needed to do anyway. I got off track for about 6 months between March and August i wasn't doing anything to lose, so i could have lost a whole lot more by now, but the fact remains that i did lose! I am working on another 20 lbs to be gone by Christmas, which is another reason i wanted a apart time. It allows me more time to work out, and i do have a business to get up and running. Lately, i've been getting headaches, that sucks because they had taken a lil break and it was just my eyes giving me problems( the cranial fulid from my brain builds up in the back of my eyes causing swelling on my optic nerves, which can lead to blindness and intense eye pressure pain , they wanted me to have an optic nerve surgery as well...but i overcame that too!...The Lord has kept me through it all!!!) Life is well, i mean i have my problems, but hey ..it could be worse right? | ||
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