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I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help.....

long weekSep. 16, 2005

It's been a long week man. At the end of it i feel a lil pooped! It's friday night,  on this day i feel a lil sad but only because i'm thinking about my own feelings. I see others around me in couples, and i jus wait and wonder when am i going to get my chance at that? Me telling tyrus to go back to his ex was hard, i'm not gonna front and act like it wasn't, but it was something i had to do . I felt his heart was heavu, carrying a burden of still loving his ex, but just being frustrated with her antics. I didn't want to continue getting close with him, and reach a point much deeper than we are now, just to have him be like, " i dun think i gave it a fair try with my ex" Right now, while i was  able to do it, i did it.

Telling Dakota to do the same was Anna was the same thing. I can't keep  falling for guys who have someone else in the back of their minds, and that lil question of "what if" will only get deeper and deeper. So i had to do the things that are best for me now, but still knowing that they both have something, someone to work on something with sucks because i feel like, 'what about me, where does that leave me?"


 T  didi say thank you to me for helpin him realize he should at least try again with his ex. Tyrus also  told me tha way he feels for me he wants to keep me all to himself. Go figure

Back at square one. But instead of wallowing, i am going to keep doing what i been doing and that is focus on God.
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