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I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help.....

Sep. 13, 2005

To ensure that i don't text and talk to him ALL day i left my cell phone upstairs with the volume completely off!. That's right we can't expect to just go back to being friends without changing our dynamic a bit. That was the problem dak and i had. Too much togetherness after the break -up, too close. Anyway, when i got  up this morning there was a text from Tee asking how i slept. It kinda stung a lil bit, made it hard for me to distance myself, i returned that text , told him i slept well and told him i hope he has a good day at work. He replied with a hug and said he hopes i keep texting him today. I didn't respond, well at least for a hour i didn't. At 10 i told him i needed to see a play, haven't seen one in ahwile. He responded back by telling me he hasn't either and to hit him up when one comes. I felt bad but i didnt bring it up to invite him to a play, i was really jus making convo, so i told him tha and then told said tha he and one of the monkeys we saw at the zoo will have cute kids!( kinda inside joke--we love to tease each other )  He then responded by saying a joke about me, and i left it at that.

His show comes on today, i still have to remind him to watch it, ( i dunno how he always forgets ??) But thas pretty much all the talking i want to do. Anyway, time to throw myself into my work and forget about guys for awhile ! It's still hard for me not to think about all the sweet, romantic gestures and things he did and said . All the places we went, and all the feelings i felt, without thinking "how did i let this happen?" It's the Dakota situation all over again. Me giving my all to something jus for it to come back and slap me in the face. LoL oh well ...
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