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I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help.....

Things...Sep. 9, 2005

My day has started off pretty well. I went for a 45 min walk, YEAH! walked up hill once, jogged the second time, then just around my neighborhood. It felt so good, im gonna try to do it again tonight. I'm losing weight rather effortlessly right now, which is great! But i don't want that to stop either so im gonna give my body a lil boost. I haven't reead my Bible chapter yet, but i have been praising all morning.  Wow...I'm talking to Twyon about Katrina and about Ophelia..which is my mother's name lol and  I was telling him how i want to do something! Here in st. louis they flying in 500 survivors to wha was going to be an airplane bunker, they got it all set up with food and stuff just waiting on the people, if they should choose to come here. The news said that the people who drove themselves here don't get to stay in the bunker. I want to go there and donate my time! I don't really have the money, but i do have the time, what else am i doing. I'm going to get together a bunch of my old clothes and find out where i can personally  take them. Hmm i might be able to give them to my aunt's sisters who lost EVERYTHING and is now living here with them. They have a house full of people  now, at least 10 people living in a two bedroom house..tha sucks.

I'm so BLESSED! No one knows how truly blessed I am, sure i have a lot of drama in my life, but pshhh compared to some people's lives i'm a lil princess...which i think might be my problem. Get this right, I'm 23, i live at home, I own my car, my mom pays all my bills, i have no real job, i have no real income.....

I am starting a business, and babysitting  everyday, which im now getting paid for every week, so im not a complete bum. I am qualified and work in the Mortgage company..but i have no deals of my own pending..so i'm just getting by. But regardless, my life is WONDERFUL. My biggfest problems come in the form of medical issues and drama with friends. My moim works my nerves like nobody's business, but overall..it's still a good life and i do regonize that. I think i'll do something sweet for my mom today like a card or poem or flowers or something.

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