I've
changed,...yet again! This time i doubt it for the betta..K
called me early yesterday morning around 7 am. We talked and for the
first time in awhile had a "normal" conversation. Even though my
attitute towards him and every other guy like him is still pretty much
the same...F*CK off you COULD of had a real good friend in me or
whatever else we were trying atm but YOU wasn't man enough, YOU
couldn't handle it then..and I don't
want it now. I'm tired of this crap man, why do guys always do this to
me, look while u have me i will give u the world as best I can, but
once it's gone it's gone especially if i've given u my all..you didn't
appreciate it then? TOO BAD... like for real, gosh i don't get
that..anyway..
I haven't worked on my business in like two
weeks, WTF ughh..i haven't worked out in like 2 MONTHS, i haven't read
my Bible in like two weeks, so here's what i say to so called friends
and so called boyfriends, F*CK IT, i'm not gonna keep stressing myself
to make so and so happy or going all out my way to make sure im
not disrespecting anyone, no...it's not worth it, none of it is.
I'm not gonna text ya, call ya, write to ya, in fact imma try not to
even think about ya...I put it out there..told u exactly how i feel,
exactly what i want, but i'm not gonna kiss ya butt to get it. I have
wayyy too much to offer someone to be stressing out over anyone, for
now on..if you aren't in my gameplan that i call life then i have to
cut u off completely..emotionally as well..just can't bother myself
caring anymore.
I am so mad at u !
Calling and reminding
u to watch ur fav show that u always forget to watch, making sure it
coo with u if i go have lunch with old friends , not seeing certain
movies with friends jus making sure u didnt wanna see it first,grabbing
something for u when i go to get food, I CAN'T AFFORD THA MESS
LOL...those are privaleges man, because i look at u in a certain
way..because it's in my blood to wanna take 'care" of u...waiting till
after 9 to call cuz i know when u come in from work u wanan chill ,
then eat, then sleep ....ughhhh, i can't even tell ya when the
last time i gave my number out, not that i haven't been asked....
trying to be extra careful not to flirt cuz we all know how dern flirty
i am..i have jus been trying to make sure tha i do all i can do on my
part because the last relationship started off screwed up on my behalf
and it jus hard to get past certain things...even though i wish u were
taller i'm still proud to be with u when we out, introduce u to
my fam, buying lil 'sexy" things, sprays, panties, lotions lol
...and all i ask , all i freaking ask is a lil affection, call before u
go to sleep jus to say goodnight, i mean come on, is it really that
hard? And if ya can't call that morning, call or text me the next
morn, ask me how I'm doing, how did i sleep? Had fun last night,
something! But oh no..tha is jus too much to ask, I'm jus SOOO
difficult i know i know...do i ask for ya money? No, do i ask for
much of ya time? No, simple things, simple things, simple
things..but...it's coo...it doesn't matter... do wha ya do, because all
those privlages u will not be seeing anymore, i got close friends i dun
even do tha ish for, but you, nah i wanted to be with u so i did
special things for u, but thas wha i get.
lol Blah..it might not make sense to ppl why im so mad righ now
byt it makes sense to me cuz we jus went through a big emotional
ordeal and a lil reassurance would be nice!
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