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| I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help..... |
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Plenty, PLENTY of guys out there right now who want me, i don't understand why that is exactly, but still they are out there. But it's always the ones i want, the ones i really really want who for whatever reasons are like nahh it's not a good time, blah blah blah...so on and so on.. NeWay...yesterday was the END of me and Tee, i mean we had a pretty heated argument, things were said that i dun think we're meant and it was also irreversible.." i can't stand to talk to you anymore" that really made me mad, YOU did the wrong, but i'm the one who getting talked all crazy to? LoL please, don't TEMPT me because i will leave and then what? Then you'll be just like ever other guy i date...Like for instance..This guy i dated when i was like 19 called me up today, " how did we go rom dating to just friends, and then eventually to nothing?"..He asked when he could see me...man i haven't seen this dude in YEARS! But still every year he calls on my birthday and stuff , neway, i was like well i am kinda dating someone and i dun think he'd like tha too much, but then i was like u know wha yeah u can stop by! So i'm waiting on him to stop by ---on the phone he was all like, " u still got that body?" I'm like what body? lol I never had one to begin with..now keep in mind i never so much as even KISSED this guy..not because he was a ba dlooking guy or i was jus stuck on myself..jus because i wasn't a kisser...so it pretty surprising to me tha he STILL harbors these feelings for me...when actually it shouldn't be because like I said, all but one of my ex's or guys i've 'talked" to try to come back..so weird. Anyway, the thing with Tee...i talked myself into believing i didn't care too much what happened between us( this was before all the drama) and then when the drama started i found myself really stressed...like for real. It was kinda like it wouldn't be as bad if we didn't end up together cuz i didn't care either way, but thas the thing, i did care, i wanted that for us, i wanted us to give each other a fresh start with love since we both had a pretty rough year. Guys...man i tell ya, so defensive..don't u know tha women take defensiveness for covering ur tracks??? Why u getting defensive if there is nothing to defend>??? It makes me wonder, so i find myself, yet again, confused...... So much is coming up , the holidays, family gatherings, my own personal business stuff...i want someone to share all that with. Proof is in the pudding though, if Tee really is trying to have his cake and eat it too I'll know,because a relationship build on lies is doomed to fail anyway...i know that one from experience! -Keeping options open | ||
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