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I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help.....

STUFFSep. 2, 2005

Today my eyes still hurt very badly, but my day has been better than the previouss days this week. I woke around 9  and went to the store to get some lcothes for this weekend.  The pant size i bought was 4 sizes smaller than i started out wearing this year, 4 sizes! It sucks because i have no one to share it with, well i can tell my mom lol but i can't tell J because she's done about her weight and still a lil negative, can't tell my guy friends because i don't discuss that stuff with them! Not in detail anyway, but im truly truly happy about that, although, i still can't find a shirt =/ .

I got me some alavert allergy medicine, and some eye drops..hopefully the combination will help. The doc  my tumor wasn't causing swelling in my optic nerves  and everything seemed stable...makes sense cuz my head hasn't been hurting but THAT sucks because it means they have no cause for my eye pain =( No cause, means no solution. I think it's just my allergies and so im hoping tha medicine helps( i prolly shouldn't be on this computer) but something has got to give or else im gonna be miserable this Holiday weekend.

I feel bad, I'm worried about clothes and a lil eye pain when ppl have lost EVERYTHING they own in some places of the Country...it's so sad. This makes me want to grab on to the people i care about and grow even closer to God .


COMPUTER HELP...COMPUTER HELP COMPUTER HELP..COMPUTER HELP
i need help..last week my computer was running fine, i could have 10 programs open( if i wanted) and all of them running fine....but now it drags..running very very slowly to do any and everything. The only thing i did differently was download and installed the latest version of yahoo mess, and installed some program my comp was telling me i had "new hardware detected" or whatever the thing says, anyway, i think it was javatime..or java something...well i since deleted the java whatever but my ocmp seems to be getting worse, any ideas??
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