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| I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help..... |
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Kory,
Kory, Kory,..a big problem in my relationship with D, but i saw him as
a friend and i went out of my way as i always do for my friends to
help him in any way that i could. Kory was supposed to be
kicking it with crista, but he wasn't good enough for her. She wanted
his friend, the one who just so happened to be in love with
crystal. But anyway, she told about Kory like he was a dog to us . But,
instead of being a woman and letting it be known that she wasn't
interested.....she led him on and kept being around. At Antiones house,
while supposed to be talking to Kory, she jumped on the phone to
another guy she dating. She completely ignored Kory, jumped on the
computerr, and even when he kneeled down next to her trying to
converse with her, she still blew him off. It wasn't too long
after that, that i WENT TO HER and asked her if she liked him, if she minded me having her number, and calling him. I had a boyfriend( D) and just wanted Kory's friendship, Antiones other friend Brandon...was supposed to be hooked up with me , but was a complete a**hole, and couldn't take no for an answer, i didn't feel bad about not talking to him, and talking to K, who from brandon i found out was married. I figured ok, we're both taken, so we can hang out with no pressure. WRONG! He was def' married, but ...it a longgggggg, touchy subject, basically it not a normal, traditional marriage, no one in love with anyone, oh yea , and there were the 4 kids to take care of. Also the biggest thing that bothered crystal and crista about him was that he served time in jail, they commonly reffered to him as, " the criminal" the criminal with 12 kids, and the messed up grill to be exact. They didn't respect him at all, but he and i vibed well together, and worked well together as well. Kory got into some legal trouble at my house,I won't go into details but let's just say I wanted to take the wrap for him so he wouldn't into any further legal damage.i also helped fund a real estate deal for him, which i also made sure he didn't have to pay any out of pocket cost. . By Feb i thought i was so in love with him , we said we were, felt like we were. I always wanted him to be happy, even if that meant him backing away from me..somehow i always understood that..but i wasn't expecting him to COMPLETELY back away, which is what he did, said he did it to keep from getting in too deep with me. By Anyhow, by March i was talking more to Tyrus and it was easier for me to not wonder about Kory. It was never hard for me to not have him around, the 'situation' never was as hard for me as he made it out to be...but go figure. Anyway, March 16th,@ 2:40 am my dad died. Dakota was the first person who knew, i screamed in the phone for about ten minutes right after it happened, Kory expressed his concern, told me he was sorry...i invited him to the wake and funeral, he went into a big thing about how he hates funerals and stuff....blah ...needless to say i didn't see or hear from Kory at all..not that week, not the next week...no call/cards/ or anything else to show his sympathy. After that, my heart hardened towards him, he really hurt me, i really needed him at that time..at that time it seemed so personal....but it really hurt. I felt so alone, my daddy was gone, my dakota was gone, and now my korypoo too? Ok.... By April my feelings softened for him again, it was april 7th, Judy's b-day.....K called while we were out and by time i got to my house he was there. He came in and i was pretty happy to see him, all the old things happened, kissing and the what not, and i invited him to hang out with Judy and I , he said yes, but J said no lol so that was that. After that it would be July before i saw him again. He would eventually tell me it was because i was with Judy and he didnt like being with her. I missed hanging out with Kory, after months and months of bring brushed off by him, i even unknwoingly to myself developed resentment toward him. I resent him a lot now. When i talk to him now i have anger in my heart. I don't like when peoople bring me to that level because that is not who I am, but anyway, after all we been through, i figured i at least deserved a hang out day once every month at least but couldn't get that...guess who was though, CRYSTAL AND CRISTA.....that's right the two girls who dogged his a** while i was there loving and respecting him. From July 1( my birthday) til last night, that's who Mr. Kory has been spending all his free time with.... And last night, to throw it in my face, he and Crista "played" on the couch, one of them being very, very, loud as if to make sure i heard..that would be Crista of course...so now you see why i want nothing to do with the three of these people. I could go a lifetime without seeing them again and it wouldn't be long enough. It was like Kory took their side in the whole me vs CC thing, and that hurt too. But... The only one i generally dislike is Crista..the other two i still love..that's the hurtful part about it all. I just see that it not healthy for me to have them around... | ||
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