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I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help.....

ChurchAug. 28, 2005

it is THE place I need to be, but the main place i do not feel like going! I am angry , upset, confused, hurt...and i feel completely validated for being so, but i know that at church, I'm going to feel guilty for feeling those things, and  soon i will forgive and knowing me probably seek out ways to "mend" a "friendship"?

No, it won't happen.... a few months i may even decide to sue that so called friend for money owed to me, well he'll think i'm sueing him, i want to write a dear john letter to em, a i completely hate you type document, but then he'll feel like a big man, the big man to got to me.

The only thing that hurts me in this is i don't understand why or how....why are u being so heartless to me, and why. Of course an email was written but it was a hey, it was nice seeing you, i think we should hang out again, a.k.a I WAS NOT BOTHERED BY YOU  lassnight, what happened? I will explain later...church.
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