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I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help.....

Me and Tee....Aug. 24, 2005

Monday...there was a celeb bowling at one of our bowling alley's..i think this celeb is sexy
as ..... =x  But...i didn't have any female friends i could call to go see em with me so i called Tee. We hadn't seen each other at all the previous weekend and barely talked. In the car he kept giving me these lil weird looks, these lil "i missed u" looks, and it was aww so cute to me. (SHOOT I'M SPOSE TO BE WORKING BEFORE I HEAD OUT-AHH WELL) But neway, we get to the bowling alley..and i'm no being cocky here, but all eyes were on me...i'm thinking...yea i tried to look cute for the celeb...but i wasn't expecting EVERYONE to be looking...i had on like a causual jumpsuit.. black, with a pink stripe going up the sleeves and legs...hmm i dunno how to describe this without it sounding country looking lol...but i had the black v-cut diamond studded tank top( showing off the girls man-yeah!) lol the jacket and the pants...with my diamond  black flip flops..u know Tee is sho9rt, gotta wear flip flops lol..but neway...there was nothing but MEN there..guys of all ages..and im jus like wow lol...i  see my uncle and cousin who bowls in a league and i go n talk to my couin's girlfriend. We gush over the celeb a bit, who looked jus as cute in person, but then i comment on how i should have come with her, or alone instead of bringing  my guy friend.  I look back at Tee, who is starring at us, and for the rest of the night i realized his eyes remained on me the whole night.

You know how u catch someone looking at u, and ur like" wha?" and they're like,"nothing" ..well it was like tha all night lol , it was weird to me at first, but by time we got back to my house and he was still doing it..everytime i'd get up , i look back and he's looking at me...i realized..hmm maybe he jus missed me , or thinks i look extra cute today or something...and throughout the night he confirmed jus tha.
We watched "constaNtine" which had its scary moments, and "love jones" to get my mind off  those scary moments hehe.

During love jones  we kept relating the movie to ourselves....we both love poetry, he's more iwlling to share his than me, the whole issues of the ex , and just like them, we started out as not a couple, but rather "jus kicking it" ....by the end of the night i realized tha the look i kept seeing in his eyes was love. I think it's been there for awhile....i think back and i've actually known him for awhile,  since November....but i payed him no attention at all when i first met him...or even the months after lol....L asked me to have lunch with her and a friend from work, i agreed, when i got there, it was Tee..he looke dlike a lil boy to me...and i didn't think he payed me much attention...


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