Jan. 24, 2006 - Le Sigh...
Oh, cruel fate bestowed upon these shoulders of a downtrodden teen... why must thou laugh and ridicule me from such an un-targetable range...?
I wish I had the courage of a mongoose... always able to outsmart their foe...
Well, the cobra I'm up against is the ultimate of predators... the venomous kind which can kill within single seconds...
I feel so guilty, though... I should have just left that godforsaken snake alone...
But... he's not godforsaken... in fact, how could such a heavenly presence actually roam the earth with no trouble at all...?
His eyes of enigma just give me a pure feeling of cleanliness that you can only find within the warmth and boundaries of Heaven...
Such rapture... such bliss I feel just looking at those eyes... It would be the most perfect of paradises if all I had to look at for the rest of my life were his holy eyes...
I can imagine it now... the length of his arms around me, giving me the warmth of a guardian angel... the feeling of everlasting protection...
I'd stare deeply into his sacred eyes... I'd feel much bliss from just this... but, he must close his eyes, but only to complete this bliss... Just for a moment will he close his eyes and bring complete ecstasy to the both of us...
But of course, this is only in my enclosed fantasies... And such fantasies can never come true...
Which is why such fantasies must leave...
But, no matter how much I bid them leave and hope for them to move somewhere away from my conscience, they come back like birds to their rightful nest...
I shouldn't be thinking such thoughts... Especially when I must give my affection toward another person... Otherwise, it would mean commiting a sin... even if the sin involves an angel...
Still, no matter how I feel, I must resist this infatuation... whether it's toward an ordinary person or angelic being... As the bible says... You can think about such a sin as long as you do not act upon it...
Well... that's all I've been doing all this time anyway...
~Metauru
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