I Have a Tendency to Make Myself Laugh | |
So... Yeah Its a Tangent!Wow this week has just flown by. I don’t know why really; it must be that this week has been much more laid back than last week. I just realized that it’s already Thursday afternoon. Well like I said not much has happened this week.
God has really been stretching me financially this week. With Bishop talking about finances my mind has been on how I can give more. I already give quite a bit. This morning I got my giving record for 2005 and I was glad to see that I gave significantly more than last year. However, I wish there was more I could give. I guess that hunger is good. Once I’m married, more established, and have the ability to give more I know that I will. I am, however, dealing in the now. With our impact giving I know that by July 2006 I will probably have already matched my 2005 giving. That is definitely a step forward. I also give so much of my time to the church and I also consider that my offering… I wish I could do more… but there’s only so much one person could do.
Do you ever feel that way? Lately I’ve been coming to terms with my mortality. I’m starting to realize that I can only do so much. I know that with God on my side I can go above and beyond what my natural body can do… but recently I’ve just felt as though I’ve been spread too thin. I’ve started to phase myself out of some things that I do. I know that I have friends who are upset with me because I don’t see them as much as I use to. To be honest when I have nothing to do I don’t care to hang out or make an effort towards conversation. Does that sound lazy? It’s such a weird issue because here at work I’m not really all that busy. In fact sometimes I’m so bored that I just sit in my chair doing nothing. Now I really do try my best to keep myself occupied, but really for the most part I’m just idle. Then after work I have so much to do that I can’t keep my head together. Even on the evenings where I have no church activities. I am taking care of my home. If any bit of my schedule is thrown off (like last week) my room becomes a disaster.
Please don’t read this as complaining. Because really everything that is keeping me busy is all my own doing; and to be honest I love everything I’m doing so much that I will never give them up. Really there are only two things that are really keeping me sane: God and Vincent. My time with God, though it hasn’t been where I’ve wanted it to be, has been awesome. Time in His presence always brings me strength. Right now it’s just a matter of getting quality time with Him. My time with Vincent is also treasured. It’s great to be around someone who you don’t feel like you need to entertain. It doesn’t hurt that he talks a lot more than I do. There’s something about just sitting there and listening to him that is so relaxing…
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