I Have a Tendency to Make Myself Laugh

I Can Out Sing a Train

          Well it’s official: Cheryl and Jason are married. Crazy huh??? I’m so happy for them. The ceremony was beautiful. Cheryl looked absolutely amazing… as always. And I didn’t cry (thank God). I couldn’t, however, refrain from making bits of commentary in Jeni’s ear. I also learned something extremely important about myself. I can out sing a train! During my solo a train went by (the train was across the street from where we were having the wedding…outside) so I just decided that I would go for it and belt it out. Now every wedding singer knows that you are not supposed to show off sing at a wedding… it’s not your day and even though you are doing a solo you are still not suppose to be the center of attention. I would like to apologize to the “Federation of Wedding Singers” but under the cir***stances I’m sure you understand. It was awesome to see people I hadn’t seen in years. Nick and Warren from high school was a great throw back (they were two hours late cuz Jensine told them it started at 7 instead of 5). I also saw Andy (Julie’s UW friend) who is always fun. Everything about the wedding was awesome… except the DJ. This guy was an idiot. First of all he wasn’t paying attention during the wedding (I literally stood there with a mic in my hand for nearly a minute waiting for him to realize it was time to play my track). Secondly, he played awful music. Well the things Cheryl requested were fine. But then be played songs like “Heard it Through the Grapevine” and “Tracks of My Tears”… these are songs about break ups… at a wedding???? Also nearly any modern song he played was a cover… yup Alicia Keys??? Cover… Celine Dion??? Cover… Lady Marmalade??? Cover (that one was decent though). And finally, this guy hit on every young girl there (except those with dates) and he wasn’t… well let’s just say he was a little over confident for a thirty-something with missing teeth (no joke). But other than the DJ it was a great wedding. Jensine was funny cuz she was still sick and Jeni was filming everything (and we filmed some things she doesn’t know about). Julie and Rob were dancing all up on each other it was cool though cuz Cheryl started it… but the Mormon reaction to them was priceless! So as a whole the wedding rocked. I did spend my Sunday sleeping from after church till about 8… then… I watched The 4400! Well there is your weekend update! Linz    

This is an official sommons

10:34 AM, Jun. 28, 2005 .. Posted by Leader of the Federation of wedding singers

Oh young Parker, you underestimate the duty of the wedding singer. Upon hearing you, yes hearing you from the home office of the F.W.S. located in the heart of downtown Tallah***ie Alabama this Saturday I knew that there was a wedding singer out there somewhere attempting to out sing a train. Do not be fooled into thinking that you are the first to attempt such a feat at a wedding, nor I am sure, will you be the last. However you like your irreverent predicessors must be dealt with. The Leifer Manor has snagged many innocent wedding singers into commiting the most serious of crimes our kind can commit, becoming the center of attention at the blessed white day of another. Although I understand the cir***stances of your said crime, you are still hereby subpeonaed to the high court of the F.W.S. to appear in front of a jury of your musical peers to judge the seriousness of your crime. I await your arrival to Alabama, and please understand, bring me a starbucks coffee, they will not come to our state and I am really craving a orange, mocha-frapaccino! On a side note let your friend and her boyfriend know that the ***ociation of mormans who don't dance like that is on their trail as well... this will be her judgement day as well... Bring me coffee and I will not judge too harshly, thankyou for your time