I have finally seen the light, something I should of seen 12 years ago. How was I supposed to know that it would be like this. Russ, the love of my life. The flame to my candle... I just can't do this anymore. I have to say, our love affair has been one of books and amazing movies. But I just can't do this. Chris Issak said it best:

The world was on fire
No one could save me but you.
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you
No, I don't want to fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
No, I don't want to fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
With you
With you
What a wicked game you play
To make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do
To let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you
v And I don't wanna fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
And I don't want to fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
{World was on fire
No one could save me but you
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you
No I don't wanna fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart
No I don't wanna fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
With you
With you
Nobody loves no one

or The Coheed and Cambria song: A favor house Atlantic -

Bye bye beautiful,don't bother to write, Disturbed by your words

I guess to be fair, we tried, and we tried hard, but you don't want the love I have to offer, which is a love that is forever, a love that can comfort any pain this world throws in your face. You will never leave my heart, I just have to put you in a box and bury it deep inside so I have no reminder of what we had and what we didn't have. As we said before in the woods of N.H the week before 4th of July, with a bottle of Jack - "Maybe next lifetime we'll get it right."

ok that was sappy, yes, but I know he reads this and I had to tell him, it is much easier to write then to try to convey a message over the phone thru tears and the sound of my heart breaking.

I did have a great weekend. The party was off the Chain.  Good Times, Good Times.

Due to my current mood, I am not watching movies, so I end this with my song list of the day:

Don't worry baby - beach boys

boombastic love - Britney Spears

everytime - Britney

Can't make you love me- Britney

Still Running - Chevelle

Emotional Drought - Chevelle

All Alone - Gorillaz

Losing Hope -Jack Johnson

Wasting Time - Jack Johnson

Mediocore Bad Guys - Jack Johnson

Your still you - Josh Groban

Last Night - Justin Timberlake

Send me an Angel - Club Mix - Keoki

Trouble Down Groove - Keoki

Maps - YeahYeahYeah's

I can live with out you - Happy 2b Hardcore Anthems

White Flag - Diddo