So today, I feel like I'm totally free to do what I want to do. My classes are over with, I have all my pre-spring break work done with, I have only minor packing left, and I'm left with little to no other responsiblities. Usually right after my last class I do what I want to do anyways, but now I don't feel a looming sense of obligation closing in on me. I can just doodle around and not feel bad about it -- thats some great freedom.

 

Knowing this was coming, I planned on blogging; and here I am doing so. However, in high anticipation of this event, I made the event of blogging much more exciting in my mind than it's ending up to be now. I don't know what it is, maybe all my intellectual ideas have drained out of my head knowing that Spring Break is here and I have no need for them, or maybe... I don't know... kinda getting bored with this topic...

 

Over the last 2 days I have been devouring one of my favorite books again... I haven't read this book, 'The Tapestries', in at least 2 years, and I remembered enjoying it a lot, so I picked it up, in hopes to distract me from Valentine's Day... For the most part, it worked. What I have to say about this book, is that anyone who likes novels should read it. Not only for the story line, but also for the way Kien Nguyen decided to write it, from many different character perspectives almost simultaneously, and how he draws you into that character's struggle so craftily. I rarely read fiction, but this is good enough to read over and over... seriously, try it. Also, I will make a girlish admission concerning this book. If I had a choice, somewhere in the story God has composed for my future revelation of love and romance, I want to have a phoenix dance on water. Read the book, and you'll understand.

 

So a friend of mine got engaged yesterday [sidenote: Propose on Valentine's Day? I really don't want that for myself]. Anyways, this is the classic ring by spring case; meets 1st semester in September, starts to date, and gets the engagement ring on the finger before spring semester ends. They're getting married this summer.

 

As much as I trust the judgment of these two people as Christians, and I know they have remained pure and desperately want to stay that way until precedings are finished, something about such a short courtship [5 months from meeting to proposal, 11 total months from meeting to wedding] seems a little precarious to me. I mean, it cuts down on the whole 'burning in anticipation' problem [all you dating Christians have some degree of knowledge as to what I'm saying], but at the same time, marriage is a lifetime. If I'm planning and preparing for the rest of my life, which I anticipate to be 40-50 more years, I, personally, need more time than 11 months to feel secure in my decision.

 

I don't think we really think about that in the heat of new love, and I don't think longevity is a word in the average American's vocabulary anymore. People often blame it on someone having 'commitment' issues, but I really don't think commitment is to blame here -- I think that abscence of foresight is the culprit. At each and every wedding, the people involved have no problem with committment, but they were committing with the mindset and perspective of 'i love you now' or 'I want to marry you know' or 'you make me happy now' or 'we have a baby now' or even worse 'I can't see anything else better to do right now.' NOW. Step outside of the now, and you'll find that urgency will lose it's power -- that in the grand scheme, your overwelming desire to have everything now will leave less and less for the future to reveal. Focusing on what we have and don't have today is one of many ways the devil divides us from everything God wants us to have tomorrow.

 

Final thought on that subject: this may sound crude to some of you, but others of you think on this level, and I want to make my point clear... if I need to wait an extra year before I can have the best sex of my life for the rest of my life... that year of sacrifice is well worth the decades of pleasure I reap.

 

Lastly, I want to report what I consider good news. I recently ended a friendship with a guy that I shouldn't have started in the first place [thats not really the good news part of it] but even throughout the death of that relationship I've picked up something great -- an exclusive friendship with his 14 year old sister. We talked a little bit before, but now we talk more, and I'm able to pour into her a Godly influence that she doesn't get at home. For me, it cushions the blow... that, and I really like middle/high schoolers -- they're the only ones who understand my immaturity sometimes! Hehe... just kidding. :)

 

Alright... I will try to blog over break because I like blogging, but if I don't, expect a big one afterwards. :)

 

KT