even with all of the recent turmoil and events in my life, i still feel good. i tried to see if i was going to be catastrophically impacted by the stuff that happened but right now i honestly still feel the same as i did a week ago. i still have my love for beautiful music. i still feel as romantic as i used to. i look deep in my soul and i don't feel any hatred at all. yes i lost a girlfriend but i also gained 2 more friends in the process. as i gazed outside my balcony tonight, i still look at the moon and stars with the same wonderment as i've had all of my life. i have no idea why i'm still in this peaceful mode. normally i would be drowning my sorrow in alcohol, sparking up a joint, or crying my eyes out, yet tonight i feel so at peace. i was even able to make jokes with the homegirl in cali, there was no tension in our conversation only teasing and much laughter. i'm so full of optimism that i even wrote lena an email. (thanks so much, lena for caring.. you're the best!!!). randii... i'm so relieved that you're doing well and i think separation from your parents can actually be good for you if only temporarily. Jossyl, Arcadia, Monkeygirl, and InTheSecret.... you all have been so supportive and i really thank you all for your comments. The only one thats missing is karensky... i know things have been great between you and your bf so you really don't have time to come online anymore. how can i ever feel alone when i have a whole blogging community with me? passion... i'm so sorry the way things worked out between us. if i can take everything back i really would. if i left anybody out... here's my props to you all. Christmas is just around the corner and we should celebrate our life, friendships and families.

 have a wonderful day everyone...

C.