pssssssssssssss.....i have a secret. hahaha. i cant say it right now but i'm sooooo happy. its really nice to have some hope again after being in a funk for the past 3 months. as usual i was just goofing off and doing my thang, u know, just chillin online. met a coupla peeps and.... hmmm. one was weird. the other wayyyy too playful. the third.....hahaha. lets just say that it was a very interesting nite. *smiles* .

 do u believe in love at first sight? kinda like from in the movies. when u talk to someone, u know right away that they are "the one". how can i tell??? it just felt "right". u drop all of ur guard and reveal to them all of ur vulnerabilities. u take a chance and just roll the dice. if it was meant to be, then no matter wut u tell them, if they felt the same way then it wouldnt be quite such a shocking revelation. last nite i didnt curse at all. i wasnt cool. i wasnt "hard". i lost all of my thugness for 4 hours. it was like i was in a worm hole or something and time had stood still. i wasnt here anymore but was on another plane of existence. we were connected somehow. my body shook with anticipation as i read every word. i was sending mental thoughts out.... hoping that it can be felt. i didnt want the nite to end.

 now what? can i continue with my plans? the piercings? the tattoos? gang life? moving? all of these things just seem so trivial and unimportant. have i been saved? i dont know about any of those things right now, i'm just focused on a more important goal. sorry about all of the veil of secrecy and cryptic wordings. sometimes u wanna keep a little something inside, when u know that its special. for right now i wanna keep it just my secret.