hey thanx to all that left comments about my last blog entry. i came in this morning thinking i was gonna delete it cause i didnt wanna make myself look stupid in front of the whole world. but i was trying to be honest and that's the whole purpose of these blog thingies, isnt it?

 well i spent the weekend trying to get in touch with some gangs. i got a homeboy in the next town that's got ties with some mexican gangs. left some messages in his machine. he hasnt got back wit me yet. hung out at the asian pool hall for awhile but didnt see any asian type gang members. did find out about some other asian hangouts tho. my brother was in a gang. thats why he's in lockdown for the next 5 years. he got 10 years in the pen for armed robbery. i still have feelings of guilt cause he alwayed wanted to be like me. and i felt that he followed in my footsteps but just wasn't strong enuff to walk away. went online pretty much this whole weekend trying to network wit gangmembers but just faced alot of fronters. all these wannabe's thinking they all hard and shiet but they just trying to live out their fantasies online. i hate peeps that talk smack but when its time to actually act, they be all scared. oh wells.. thats another blog entry. a couple of private "gang" groups online where membership is by invitation only. applied for a couple. one private group looked at my profile and allowed me in. kinda funny how u're allowed into something by just ur looks and wut u write down. well 3 of the private gang groups turned out to be huge disappointments. like i said... too much shiet talking. i'm tired of hearing talk and i need someone to actually step up and show me the money. cleaned out my 9mm and bought some ammo for it this weekend. pushed myself to do lots of exercises. got a pretty short haircut. shorter than wut its been for a couple years. still not short enuff... gonna cut some more off. this week gonna get the piercing. got a lil money left but won't get paid til next monday. dropping out of class this week. wuts the use... just wasting my time when my head's not into it. one of the biggest waste of 3 bills in my whole life.

 very cold this morning. the season's changing. how fitting that the change coincides with the change in my own life. the blogs might be slowing down for awhile. i got too many things to be doing in order to prepare myself for the next chapter of my life.

 alex... thanx for your comments but i never fear for my life or that i'm gonna get myself hurt. u seem to have forgotten how i felt about death. it can happen to u at any time. i've been wasting my life away for the past 6 years. i havent accomplished a damn thing. i don't intend on continuing to waste it for another couple of years. this is something that i've been thinking about doing for as long as i can remember. just thanx for u being there for me this weekend. it actually helped me focus a little bit better.

 yall have a wonderful week and peace out.